Alcohol Jokes

Bus Driver

I went out drinking on St. Patrick's Day, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before. 

Categories: Alcohol Jokes (Beer Jokes) , Holiday Jokes (St. Patrick's Day Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes)
Written By: Blaze

DNR

A husband and wife were sitting at home when the husband suddenly said, "Honey, just so you know, I never want to be kept alive in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
So the wife got up, pulled the plug on the T.V. and threw out all of his beer.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Word Play Jokes , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Alcohol Jokes (Beer Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man)
Submitted BY: kaiofthelexx1

Ladies Night Out

Three women went out drinking and decided to have a contest to see who could get the drunkest. The next day the women all got together.
The first woman said, "I drove my car into a ditch."
The second woman said, "I blew chunks."
The third woman said, "I burned down my house."
After they all had told their stories, the third woman said, "I guess I won!" The second woman said, "Wait a minute, you don't understand, Chunks is my dog."

Categories: Sexist Jokes (About Women) , Animal Jokes (Dog Jokes) , Alcohol Jokes , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Bestiality Jokes)
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