Dumb Montana Laws

Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, And Very Little Else
Dumb Montana Laws:

1. Seven or more indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them.
2. (Repealed) In Montana, it is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all.
3. It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime.
4. It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.
5. It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.
6. Excelsior Springs - Balls may not be thrown within the city limits.
7. Helena - No item may be thrown across a street.
8. Salisbury - Pop bottles are not to be thrown on the ground.
9. Whitehall - It is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels. 

Collection of "Useful" Insults

When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some of these:

• Ugly as a warthog and half as smart.
• Unclear which of Newton's three laws of motion keeps his ears apart.
• Understands English as well as any parrot.
• Used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
• Useful as a chocolate teapot.
• Useful as a football bat.
• Useful as a hip pocket on a T-shirt.
• Useful as a kickstand on a horse.
• Useful as a mint-flavored suppository.
• Useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
• Useful as dinosaur repellent.
• Useful as tits on a bullfrog / bull / boar-hog.
• Uses all three functional neurons for his best work.
• Uses his head best for rolling Easter eggs.
• Uses his head to keep the rain out of his neck. 

Mississippi Jokes

Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
Dumb Mississippi Laws:

• Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging.
• Horses are not to be housed within 50 feet of any road.
• Vagrancy is punishable by either 30 days in prison or a $201 fine. -Sec. 97-35-37
• Columbus - The fine for waving a gun in public is higher than actually shooting it.
• Oxford - It is illegal to drive around the town square more than 100 times in a single session.
• One may not spit on the sidewalks on the square.
• Motor vehicles on the square are prohibited.
• Horn honking is not permitted as it might scare horses.
• Tylertown - It is unlawful to shave in the center of main street.