Valentine Dreams

A woman was taking a nap one afternoon. When she work up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a beautiful and expensive diamond necklace for Valentine’s Day! What do you think the dream means?”
“You’ll find out tonight,” he said.
That evening, her husband came home with a small package for her. Thrilled, she opened it and found a book titled “How to interpret your Dreams."

Yo Mama - Airplane

Yo momma so fat that when she was seated in the last row, the plane couldn't get off the ground.

Bear Hunting

A hunter goes to the forest. He sees a bear and fires at it, but misses. The bear is nowhere to be seen.
Suddenly the bear taps him on his shoulder and says, "You tried to kill me, either I'll kill you or pull down your trousers and let me have my way with you. The hunter chose life.
He goes home embarrassed, buys a bigger gun and goes back to hunt the bear. He sees it at a distance, fires, misses, the bear disappears in the thick brush only to pop up behind him a little later. The bear recognizes the hunter and says, "You know the choices."
The hunter, sore for months after the ordeal, brings a bazooka to get over his humiliation. He finds the bear, fires and falls back due to recoil. The smoke clears and the bear is standing over him, rubbing it's chin. "You don't come here for hunting, do you?"