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The best jokes and joke writers!

Hungry Dalmation

Q: What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal?

A: That hit the spots!

K9 Mix

Q: What do you get if you cross a Collie with a rose?

A: A collie-flower!

Mouse Umbrella

Q: When should a mouse carry an umbrella?

A: When it's raining cats and dogs!

Dracula K9

Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?

A: A bloodhound!

Just Use Nair

My wife found out that our dog (a Giant Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears.

He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.

Andrea went to the store and bought some "Nair" hair remover. 

At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."

Andrea said, "I'm not using it under my arms." *

The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't use body lotion for a couple of days."

Andrea replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Giant Schnauzer." 

The pharmacist said, "Well, then stay off your bicycle for at least a week.