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The best jokes and joke writers!

Waxed Floor

When to visit my friend the other day

He told me to make myself at home but stay out of the kitchen, the floor just got waxed and is a little slippery. I look over and see his two dogs running and falling over on the kitchen floor so I ask what is up with those two. He looks over and says with a smile.

"Them bitches be trippin"

Service Dogs

There's a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to the guy with a Chihuahua, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat." The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got our dogs with us." The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "Just follow my lead." They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk in. A guy at the door says, "Sorry, mac, no pets allowed." The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing- eye dog." The guy at the door says, "A Doberman Pinscher?" He says, "Yes, they're using them now, they're very good." The guy at the door says, "Come on in."
The guy with the Chihuahua figures, What the hell, so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in. The guy at the door says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed." The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog." The guy at the door says, "A Chihuahua?" The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You mean they gave me a Chihuahua?"

Childhood Dog

I am from the Middle East and when I was a kid, I had a bomb sniffing dog. It died of an overdose.

Seeing Eye Dog

A blind man was out walking with his seeing eye dog when suddenly the animal paused and wet the man's leg. Bending down, the blind man stretched out his hand and patted the dog's head.

Having watched what happened, a passerby said, "Say, why are you patting him? That dog just peed on your leg!"

"I know," said the blind man, "but I gotta find his head before I can kick his butt."

K9 City -Riddles

Q: What city do dogs call their favorite?

A: New Yorkie!