Popular Jokes

These jokes are our most popular jokes over the past few months, based on all user feedback. Vote for your favorites today!

Group Photo

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael. He's a doctor.'" A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead."

Categories: Jokes about Kids (School Kids Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Six Weeks to Live

A guy goes to see his doctor, and the doctor says, "Well, I'm afraid you have six weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh damn, well what should I do doctor?" The doctor tells him, "You should take a mud bath once a day for the next six weeks," and the guy asks, "Why? Is that supposed to help?" and the doctor says, "No, but it'll get you used to being in the ground."

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Going to Die Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: hollow1030

Redneck Dayvorce

A hillbilly walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for divorce.
Attorney: "May I help you?"
Hillbilly: "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces."
Attorney: "Well do you have any grounds?"
Hillbilly: "Yea, I got about a hundred acres."
Attorney: "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?"
Hillbilly: "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."
Attorney: "I mean, do you have a grudge?"
Hillbilly: "Yea, I got a grudge. That's where I park my John Deere."
Attorney: "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"
Hillbilly: "Yes sir, I got a suit, I wear it to church on Sundays."
Attorney: "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?"
Hillbilly: "No sir, we both get up about 4:30 in the morning."
Attorney: "Well, is she a nagger or anything?"
Hillbilly: "No she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger. That's why I want this dayvorce."

Categories: Redneck Jokes (Hillbilly Jokes) , Racist Jokes (Black Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Lawyer Jokes)
Anonymous