Baby Food

There was once a wide mouth frog. She had babies and she didn't know what to feed them. She went to the cow, talking with her mouth real wide, she said, "COW, WHAT DO YOU FEED YOUR BABIES?" The Cow said, "I feed my babies milk." She went on to the horse. Talking with her mouth real wide, she said, "HORSE, WHAT DO YOU FEED YOUR BABIES?" "I feed my babies hay," said the horse. Finally she came to a snake. Talking with her mouth real wide, she said, "SNAKE, WHAT DO YOU FEED YOUR BABIES?" The snake said, "I feed my babies wide mouth frogs." So the frog said, with her mouth really small, "Oh, is that so."

Signs And Notices 15

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

• Sign in the office of a Roman doctor: "Specialist in women and other diseases."
• Sign in a Tokyo shop: "Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run."
• Sign from a Japanese booklet about using a hotel air CONDITIONER: "COOLERS AND HEATERS: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself."
• Two signs from a Morrocan shop entrance: "English well talking." "Here speeching American."
• Sign at a Budapest zoo: "Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."
• Sign from a translated sentence from a Russian chess book: "A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played."
• Sign at a garage in Hertfordshire: "Please do not smoke near the pumps. If your life isn't worth anything - gas is!"
• Sign on the menu of a Swiss restaurant: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."

Floating Television

Q: What do you say when you see your television floating at night?
A: "Drop it nigga."