Grown Up Words

A teacher was teaching a class of five year olds and asked what they all did in the summer holidays. One boy said he got a ''choo-choo.'' The teacher said, "Please use the proper grown-up word for what you have done. The word is train." Another boy said he got a ''bow-wow.'' The teacher said please use the proper grown-up word for what you have done. The word is dog." Another boy said I got a ''Winnie the Shit.''

Teacher 911

Q: Why did the kindergarten teacher call the Police?
A: Because a 5 year old was resisting a rest.

Louisiana Heritage

A few clues to being a true Louisianan:

• Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
• "Vacation" means going to the family reunion.
• You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
• You measure distance in minutes.
• You know several people who have hit a deer.
• Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
• Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
• You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
• You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
• Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
• You see people wearing bib overalls at funerals.
• You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
• You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.
• All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
• You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
• You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
• You carry jumper cables in your car.
• You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
• You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
• You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
• You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
• The local paper covers national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
• You think that deer season is a national holiday.
• You find 90 degrees F "a little warm."
• You know all 4 seasons: Almost summer, summer, Still summer, and Christmas.
• You know if another Louisianan is from southern, middle, or northern Louisiana as soon as they open their mouth.
• There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
• You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good gumbo weather.