Q: Why do black people hate country music?

A: Because when they hear the word 'hoedown' they think their sister got shot!

Bob: "Will you remember me tomorrow?" 

Bill: "Yes"

Bob "Will you remember me next week?" 

Bill  "Yes"

Bob: "Will you remember me next month??"

Bill: "Yes"

Bob: "Will you remember me next year?"

Bill: "Yeah"

Bob: "Knock Knock"

Bill: "Who's There?"

Bob: "See, you forgot me already!"

Q: How can you tell Mario is racist?

A: He's an Italian plumber, made by Japanese people, who speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!

A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "I will have to go home and come back later." The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed his application. When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office. She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too."

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses and point a hair dryer at passing cars
2. On all your check stubs, write, 'For Marijuana'
3. Skip down the street rather than walk and see how many looks you get
4. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat - be serious about it
5. Sing along at the opera
6. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won, I won"
7. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot while yelling, "Run for your lives! They're loose!"
8. Tell your children over dinner: "Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go"
9. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.
10. Go to a department store fitting room and yell, "There's no toilet paper in here"