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The best jokes and joke writers!

St. Patrick's Day

What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day? On St. Patrick's Day everyone wishes they were Irish.

Excited Irishman

Q: What do you call an Irishman bouncing off the wall?

A: Rick O'Shay

Bus Driver

I went out drinking on St. Patrick's Day, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before. 

Up All Night

Q: Why did Daft Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun?

A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"

Tiger Woods Mercedes

On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his Mercedes into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant who knows absolutely nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.

"Top of the mornin' to yer, sir," says the attendant.

Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

"What are those?", asks the attendant.

"They're called tees," replies Tiger.

"Well, what on this god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman.

"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger.

"The Devil you say", says the Irishman, "Mercedes thinks of everything!"