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The best jokes and joke writers!

Arab in Ireland

An Arab boy moves to Ireland. On his first day of school his teacher asks, "What is your name?" "My name is Mohammed," the boy replies. "You live in Ireland now, your new name is Mike," says the teacher. The boy smiles and has a good time in his classes. After school the boy returns home and is greeted by his mother. "How was your first day at school, Mohammed?" his mother asks. "I live in Ireland now, my new name is Mike!" The boy replies. His mother becomes infuriated, "Have you forgotten where you came from? Your heritage? You have disgraced your ancestors!"

His mother beat him and when his father comes home from work he does the same.

The next day the boy returns to school and his teacher sees his fresh bruises. "Mike! What happened?" asked the teacher. The boy replies with a grimace "Well, shortly after becoming an Irishman I was jumped by two fucking Arabs!"

Irish Coffin Maker

A small Irish Coffin maker who was also a bit of a prankster was on his way to deliver a coffin one evening when his car broke down. Trying not to be late, he put the coffin on his head and began heading to his destination.

An Irish policemen saw him and said, "Hey, where did you get that coffin and where are you going?”

The man replied, “I didn't like where I was buried so I'm relocating.”

Bus Driver

I went out drinking on St. Patrick's Day, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before. 

Up All Night

Q: Why did Daft Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun?

A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"

Irish Pick-up Line

You must be from Ireland ... because my baloney pony is Dublin every time I think about you!