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The best jokes and joke writers!

Triple News

The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door. "We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Crosley, but we have some information about your wife."  "Well, tell me!" the man said. The policeman said, "We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"  Fearing the worse, Mr. Crosley said, "Give me the bad news first." So the policeman said, "I'm sorry to tell you sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in San Francisco Bay."  "Oh my god!," said Mr. Crosley, overcome by emotion. Then, remembering what the policeman had said, he asked, "What's the good news?" "Well," said the policeman, "When we pulled her up she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeness crabs on her."  "If that's the good news than what's the great news?!", Mr. Crosley demanded. The policeman said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow morning!"

Oreo Dentist

Q: Why did the Oreo cookie go to the dentist?

A: Because he lost his filling.

Knock Knock - Broken Pencil

Knock, knock

Who's there?

You ever hear the joke about the broken pencil?

You ever hear the joke about the broken pencil who?

Nevermind, it's pointless.

Knock Knock - Atch

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Atch!

Atch who?

Bless You!  I didn't know you were sick!

Knock Knock - Luke

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Luke.

Luke who?

Luke through the keyhole and you will find out!

Will You Remember Me

Bob: "Will you remember me tomorrow?" 

Bill: "Yes"

Bob "Will you remember me next week?" 

Bill  "Yes"

Bob: "Will you remember me next month??"

Bill: "Yes"

Bob: "Will you remember me next year?"

Bill: "Yeah"

Bob: "Knock Knock"

Bill: "Who's There?"

Bob: "See, you forgot me already!"