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The best jokes and joke writers!

Heart Attack

A man comes home and hears hard breathing and female noises from inside the apartment.  He walks inside to find his wife on the floor of the living room naked. His wife yells, "Help, help, I am having a heart attack!"
The husband runs in the other room to call the doctor when one of his kids run up to him and says, "Daddy, daddy, there is a naked man in the closet."
Husband opens the closet door and sees his friend Bob. He yells at Bob, "Bob, god damn it, my wife is having a heart attack and here you are trying to scare the kids!!!"

Pedophile Gift

Q: What do you give the pedophile who has everything?

A: Another parish

Yo Mama - Raincoat

Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell "Taxi!"

Toilet Paper

Q: Why did the girl take toilet paper to the party?

A: Because she was a party pooper.

Bus Driver

I went out drinking on St. Patrick's Day, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before. 

Bad Smell

Q: Why does Piglet smell so bad?

A: Because he plays with Pooh.