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The best jokes and joke writers!

Rooster Pride

An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years and the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't hurt. So he buys a new cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the barnyard. Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he's a little worried about being replaced. He walks up to the new bird.
"So you're the new stud in town? I bet you really think you're hot stuff don't you? Well I'm not ready for the chopping block yet. I'll bet I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We'll run around it ten times and whoever finishes first gets to have all the hens for himself." Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the old guy.
"You're on," he said, "and since I'm so great, I'll even give you a head start of half a lap. I'll still win easy!" So the two roosters go over to the hen house to start the race with all the hens gathering to watch. The race begins and all the hens start cheering the old rooster on. After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead. After the second lap, the old guy's lead has slipped a little -- but he's still hanging in there. Unfortunately, the old rooster's lead continues to slip each time around, and by the fifth lap he's just barely in front of the young fella. By now the farmer has heard the commotion. He runs into the house, gets his shotgun and runs into the barnyard figuring a fox or something is after his chickens. When he gets there, he sees the two roosters running around the hen house, with the old rooster still slightly in the lead. He immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the young rooster away. "Damn. That's the third gay rooster I've bought this month."

Yo Mama - Speed Limit

Yo' Mama is so stupid, when the officer told her she broke the speed limit, she offered to fix it.

Sneeze Nut

Q: What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?

A: Cashew

Benefits of Having Alzheimer's

Benefits of having Alzheimer's:

  • You can wrap your own presents.
  • You are always meeting new friends.

Knock Knock - Woo

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Woo

Woo who?

I know, it's exciting for me too!

Trump Busted

Q: What proof is there that Donald Trump is racist and sexist?

A: He beat a woman badly in his run for the presidency and threw a black family out of a white house.