The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are the FBI!

Q: When and where do chemists have sex?

A: Periodically, on the table.

Q: Where can you get gas for a $1.49?

A: Taco Bell.

Ken is out on the interstate having an evening drive in his new Corvette. He decides to open her up and the needle jumps to 120 mph. Suddenly he sees a flashing red and blue light behind him. He thinks about outrunning the cops, accelerates for a few seconds, then comes to his senses and pulls over. The officer comes over to check his license. “I’ve had a tough shift,” says the officer. “And this is my last traffic stop. I don’t feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before you can go!” “Uh , last week my wife ran off with a cop,” says Ken. “And when I saw your car I was afraid he was trying to give her back!” “Have a nice night,” says the officer.

Q: What's the problem with twin witches?

A: You never know which witch is which.