Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Carrie.

Carrie who?

Carrie on with what you're doing, I'm at the wrong door.

Knock knock

Who's there?

Owls

Owls who?

That's right! Owls hoo!

English: This is your Captain speaking, we have leveled off and are cruising at flight level three five zero.   Feel free to move about the cabin.  Also the First Officer has turned off the no smoking sign, the flight attendants will be serving cocktails and refreshments momentarily, so just sit back and enjoy the rest of the flight.  We'll be arriving at our destination in 20 minutes and I expect no delays. Enjoy the rest of your flight.

Ebonics: Ebonia Airlines Dis be yo' main man, we be chillin at tray-five -o, if you be flexin, get up off yo ass and shake that thang, my homey be killin' the man's opression.  If you wanna smoke chronic, just hang loose blood, them bitches be cruizin' on up with some forty-ounce 8-ball, so stop trippin' and sit your ass back down.  We be in the hood in no time afterall, I be bumpin switches all da' way. Peace out!

Q: What did one traffic light say to the other?

A: Don't look at me while I'm changing!

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" "Like what?" "Well ... are you religious or atheist?" "Religious." "Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?" "Christian." "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" "Protestant." "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" "Baptist." "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?" "Baptist Church of God." "Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God." "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!" To which I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.