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The best jokes and joke writers!

Bird Shopping

It's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door. "Please let me in," says the man desperately. "I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one." "Okay," says the butcher. "Let me see what I have left."
He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man. "That one is too skinny. What else do you have?" says the man.The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.
"Oh, no," says the man, "That one doesn't look any better. You better give me both of them!"

Yo Mama - Taxi

Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell "Taxi!"

A Bat's Worst Day

Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?" The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"

Will You Remember Me

Bob: "Will you remember me tomorrow?" 

Bill: "Yes"

Bob "Will you remember me next week?" 

Bill  "Yes"

Bob: "Will you remember me next month??"

Bill: "Yes"

Bob: "Will you remember me next year?"

Bill: "Yeah"

Bob: "Knock Knock"

Bill: "Who's There?"

Bob: "See, you forgot me already!"

Yo Mama - Ugly Contest

Yo mama is so ugly, she entered and ugly contest and one of the judges said "Sorry ... No professionals allowed!!!"

Yo Mama - Picture

Yo momma's so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing!