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The best jokes and joke writers!

Valentine Breakfast

The old couple were celebrating Valentine's day after 50 years of marriage. They were sitting at the breakfast table when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting at this same breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting there naked as a jaybird, too!" "Well," Granny snickered, "Let's relive some old times."  Whereupon, the two stripped to the buff and sat back down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." "I'm not surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!"

500 Girlfriends

Q: What do you call a villager with 500 girlfriends?

A: A shepherd.

We Have Too Many

There is a black man, a white man, and a Mexican man on a plane that is too heavy to fly and they are about to crash. They each have to throw something off the plane to save them from crashing. The black man throws out his Jordan shoes and says, "We have too many in our country.” The Mexican tosses out his lawn mower and says, "We have too many in our country.” The white man puts his item down, grabs the Mexican, throws him out the window and says, "We have too many in our country.”

Cookies and Milk

Just dunked a cookie in milk.

Held it under until the bubbles stopped.

Thought of you.

Floating Television

Q: What do you say when you see your television floating at night?

A: "Drop it nigga."

Little Red Dot

Q: You know what that little red dot means in the middle of an Indian woman's forehead?

A: Coffee's ready.