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The best jokes and joke writers!

Helo Jump

A young marine talks to his dad about parachute practice. We had to jump out of helicopters" the boy said. His father replies "how scary! And you just... jumped?" The boy shyly, said, "Well, I was very scared, and I just stood there at first." The dad got stern, "And what did the drill sergeant say?" He said, 'If you don't jump this fucking instant, I'm gonna stick my big hairy cock up your little ass." The dad got wide eyed, "Did you jump?" He asked. "Only at first."

Loving Email

A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail. Meanwhile... somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: 16 May 2003
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is not as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!

Yo Mama - Walgreens

Yo moma so stupid when she walked into Walgreens she said, "These walls ain't green!!"

Yo Mama - Sunshine

Yo mama so ugly, when she walks outside, the sun hides behind the clouds.

Yo Mama - All My Children

Yo mama so ugly, I went to her house, saw her TV was covered with cockroaches, asked her what she was watching, and she said 'All My Children'.

Yo Mama - Copycat

Yo mama so stupid that when she looked in the mirror, she said stop copying me!