We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Terrorist iPhone

Q: How do you blow up a terrorist iPhone?
A: Put it into airplane mode.

Almost

Almost had a threesome last night...

Just needed 2 more people

Sprinter Food

Q: What do sprinters eat before a race?

A: Nothing, they fast.

Sleep Deprived

Q: How do you know when your snoring is a problem?

A: You're driving home from work and people riding with you start complaining.

Got One?

A woman is at home when she hears someone knocking at her door. She goes to the door opens it and sees a man standing there. He asks the lady, "Do you have a Vagina?" She slams the door in disgust.

The next morning she hears a knock at the door, its the same man and he asks the same question to the woman, "Do you have a Vagina?" She slams the door again.

Later that night when her husband gets home she tell him what has happened for the last two days. The husband tells his wife in a loving and concerned voice, "Honey, I'm taking a day off tomorrow, just in case this guy shows up again."

The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both ran for the door. The husband whispers to the wife, "Honey, I'm going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the question because I want to a see where he's going with this." She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.

Sure enough the same fellow is standing there, he asks, "Do you have a Vagina?" "Yes I do." says the lady.

The man replies, "Good, would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife's alone and start using yours!"

Romaine Alert

The Romaine empire has fallen.

Caesar is dead.

Lettuce pray.