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The best jokes and joke writers!

Bad to Worse

What is worse than two girls running with scissors?
Two girls scissoring with the runs.

Cut-Off

A woman attempted to cut off her husband's ding-a-ling. She missed and ended up cutting off his thigh. She went to jail and was charged with a misdaweiner.

 

 

How Old?

They say you're only as old as you feel.

Well, I feel like I've been exhumed from the tombs of Egypt, given a cup of coffee and sent to work.

God Humor

Smith climbed to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asked the Lord, "God, what does a million years mean to you?"
The Lord replied, "A minute."
Smith asked, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"
The Lord replied, "A penny."
Smith asked, "Can I have a penny?"
The Lord replied, "In a minute."

Missing Parts

What do you call a man with no shins?

Tony

Delayed

Hey, sorry it took me 6 days to respond to your text message, I myself am understaffed at the moment.