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The best jokes and joke writers!

Tree Talk

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. The beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands in the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies: "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. That, my friends, is the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."

WFH Tip

Today's work-from-home tip:

When drinking wine from your ceramic mug, occasionally blow on it to make your zoom meeting group think that your coffee or tea is very hot.

Perspective

The next time you hate your life remember, it's all about perspective. I have a friend who has sex 2-3 times a day, exercises twice a day, reads 2 books a week and yet complains about how much he hates prison. 

Online Dating

I'll never use online dating again!

The last guy said he lived in a gated community.

Prison. He meant prison!

New Definitions

A mandate isn't always a law.

Sometimes it's just two guys going out to dinner.

Wrong Room

One time I accidentally went to the men's washroom instead of the women's. I only found out after I opened a pad and the person in the stall next to me said, "Dude, it must be a massive shit if you're having snacks in here, good luck!