A physicist, an engineer and a statistician go on a hunting trip.  They're walking through the woods when they spot a deer in a clearing. The physicist calculates the distance of the target, the velocity and drop of the bullet, adjusts his rifle and fires.  He missed the deer 5 feet to the left. The engineer rolls his eyes and said, "You forgot to account for wind." He snatches the rifle, licks his finger and estimates the speed and direction of the wind and fires. He missed the deer 5 feet to the right. Suddenly, the statistician claps his hands and yells, "We got him!"

If "womb" is pronounced "woom", "tomb" is pronounced "toom" then shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?

Officer: Why should you be released early?

Man: I’m ..

Officer: Go on.

Man: I think...

Officer: Yes?

Man: Can I please finish my sentence?

Officer: Sure. Parole denied.

Q: What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?

A: Re-morse code.

Q: Why is Kim Jong un so chubby?

A: Because he never had to run for his office