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The best jokes and joke writers!

Control

My sexual desires have been getting out of control.
But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I knew I'd hit rock bottom.

Circle Facts

Q: What's the difference between a radius and a diameter?

A: A radius.

Waiter

Being a waiter isn't a very glamorous job.

But at least it puts food on the table.

Shagging Twins

My friend told me he was shagging his girlfriend's twin.

I said: "You lucky thing! But how do you tell them apart?"

"Oh that's easy," he said, "Her brother has a mustache."

Bishop Brews

A bishop walks straight into a bar and orders a beer.

"You can't do that," the bartender says. "You can only move diagonally."

Alien Visits

Q: Why haven't aliens visited our solar system?

A: They checked the reviews and we only have one star.