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The best jokes and joke writers!

Second Chance

Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking marijuana and appeared in court. The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, I'd like to give you a second chance. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use. I'll see you back in court Monday." On Monday, the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs." "17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew a little circle in a big circle and told them the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs." "That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" (to the 2nd boy) "Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs." "156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that!" "Well, I used a similar approach. (draws two circles) I pointed to small circle and said, "This is your ass hole before prison....."

Teenage Witch

Q: What did the teenage witch say to her mother?

A: Can I have the keys to the broom tonight?

Space Wizard

Q: What do you call a wizard from outer space?

A: A flying sorcerer!

Knock Knock - Ken

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Ken

Ken who?

Ken I come in, it's freezing out here?

Measure Up

I asked my partner if I was the only one she’s been with.

She said, “Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights.”

Chivalry Defined

Q: Why do men give cold women their jackets?

A: No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.