A man comes home from work sporting two black eyes. “What happened to you?” asks his wife. “I’ll never understand women,” he replies. “I was riding on the escalator behind this pretty young girl, when I noticed her skirt was stuck in the crack of her ass. So I pulled it out, and she turned around and punched me in the eye!” “I see, and how did you get the second black eye?” asks his wife. He replies, “Well, I figured she liked it that way, so I pushed it back in again.”
A guy is running on a treadmill in the gym and he sees an iPhone X sitting on the next treadmill with no one around. Just then it starts ringing and a buff dude comes and answers it on speakerphone. It's a sweet voice of a young woman. The conversation goes like this:
Women: HEY BABY!!! ARE YOU STILL AT THE GYM?
Buff Dude: Yeah!!
Women: Well, okay, so I'm out shopping with my friend Sarah and we see this beautiful dress, it's so gorgeous! It's the last one and it's on sale. Sarah says it makes me look hot and that I should buy it now. I think so too but I don't have that much cash. Would you mind if I use your card to buy it? It's only $600. Please Please?
Buff Dude: Okay!!!
Women: THANK YOU HONEY!!! Also, there's this beautiful necklace that matches the dress and it's on sale for $199. The dress is nothing without the necklace, can I get it too?
Buff Dude: Yeah!!
Women: OMG!! you are the best and speaking of the best you know that Kaitlyn's wedding is coming up and these guys have this beautiful gown, It will make me look like a princess and it's only $1200. Can I get that now too?
Buff Dude: get it...
Women: OH MY GOSH...YOU ARE THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER !!! I LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUCH...THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I'M GONNA TREAT YOU FOR THIS. DON'T SPEND ALL OF YOUR ENERGY AT THE GYM, YOU'RE GONNA NEED IT TONIGHT!
Buff Dude: Bye!!
The buff dude takes the phone and leaves. The guy can't believe the conversation, figures the buff dude must be loaded and babe extremely hot. A few minutes later he hears a page over the gym loudspeaker:
Would the person who lost an iPhone X please come to the front desk - you had a phone call!