How Men Take Bubble Baths
Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?
A: He eats beans for dinner.
Wait in the Car
Upon returning to their car from a shopping, one of the young ladies realized that she had forgotten to stop at the pharmacy for her birth control pills. She rushed into the nearest pharmacy and gave her prescription to the pharmacist. "Please fill this immediately," she asked. "I've got people waiting in my car!"
Ladies Night Out
3 women went out drinking, and decided to have a contest of who could get the drunkest. The next day the women all got together.
The first woman said, "I drove my car into a ditch."
The second woman said, "I blew chunks."
The third woman said, "I burned down my house."
After they all had told their stories, the third woman said, "I guess I won," and the second woman said, "You don't understand, Chunks is my dog."
Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling you, this guy is presidential material. Dave Letterman
Girls Are Evil
Girls = time * money
time = money, therefore: Girls = money * money (*)
But we know that money is a root of all evil, thus: m>
Taking into account (*), we have: Girls = sqrt(evil)*sqrt(evil)
And finally: Girls = |evil| Thus, Girls are the absolute evil!