The Mexican Olympic Team
Q: How come Mexico never has a good Olympic team?
A: Because all of the Mexicans that can run, jump, or swim are in the U.S.A.
Carpets
Q: What do you say to an Arab shaking out a carpet on his 5th floor balcony?
A: What's wrong Abdul? Won't it start?
Shooting Cans!
A guy walks into a gun shop to buy a gun. "Can I help you sir?" asked the shopkeeper. "Ah, yes... I want to buy a .44 Magnum please." The shopkeeper informs the man that the .44 is a very powerful gun, and asks the customer what he's going to use it for. The man replies, "I want to shoot cans!" "What? Cans! You don't need a .44 to shoot cans sir, a much smaller gun would do," advised the shopkeeper. The customer has enough and finally says, "Shut up and give me the dang .44 Mag... I want to shoot AmeriCans, MexiCans, and AfriCans!"
Leprechaun Lender
Q: Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they're always a little short.
Ponderings Collection 34
- Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
- Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
- How come abbreviated is such a long word?
- If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
- Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
- Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
- Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
- If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
- When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? It sounds like a near hit to me!
- Do fish get cramps after eating?
