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The best jokes and joke writers!

Puerto Ricans

Q: What's the difference between a pizza pie and a Puerto Rican?

A: A pizza pie can feed a family of eight.

Mexican Difference

Q: What is the difference between a Mexican and a book?

A: A book has papers!

Chicken Cross the Road Jokes

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To show the armadillo that it was possible.

 

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To get away from Colonel Sanders!

 

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice?

A: Because it was a double-crosser.

 

Q: Why did the Iraqi chicken cross the road?

A: To take over the other side.

 

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?

A: To get to the other slide.

 

Q: Why did the chicken cross the beach?

A: To get to the other tide.

 

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

A: Chickens hadn't evolved yet.

Ponderings Collection 34

  • Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
  • Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
  • How come abbreviated is such a long word?
  • If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
  • Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
  • Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
  • Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
  • If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
  • When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? It sounds like a near hit to me!
  • Do fish get cramps after eating?

Shooting Cans!

A guy walks into a gun shop to buy a gun. "Can I help you sir?" asked the shopkeeper. "Ah, yes... I want to buy a .44 Magnum please." The shopkeeper informs the man that the .44 is a very powerful gun, and asks the customer what he's going to use it for. The man replies, "I want to shoot cans!" "What? Cans! You don't need a .44 to shoot cans sir, a much smaller gun would do," advised the shopkeeper. The customer has enough and finally says, "Shut up and give me the dang .44 Mag... I want to shoot AmeriCans, MexiCans, and AfriCans!"