We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

The Same Old Lunches

There are three men that work together, an Italian, an Irish, and a Polish man. One day, the Italian man is having lunch and says, "If my wife makes me a meatball sandwich again, I'm going to jump off the building." The Irish man and the Polish man say the same thing because they all have the same lunch everyday. The next day, the three men go to eat their lunches and they are the same as usual. The Italian man has a meatball sandwich, the Irish man has baked potatoes, and the Polish man has kilbossi with a roll and mustard. They walk all the way up the stairs to the roof and jump off. The cops find them, call their wives, and bring them to the building where their husbands work. Nobody knows why they jumped except a co-worker, who tells the police that the men didn't like their lunches, so they jumped off. The Italian's wife says, "He should have told me, I would have made him something different." The Irish man's wife says the same thing. The Polish man's wife says, "I don't know why he jumped, he makes his own lunch."

Riding Along

An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final, "Yahoo!" and rode off. "What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant. "Nothing," shrugged the woman, "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off." "Lady," the attendant said, "Indians ride bareback..."

The Dot

For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads.  Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or religion, but the Indian embassy in Ottawa has recently revealed the true story.

When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union.  On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won; a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, a taxi cab or a motel in the United States.

If nothing there, he must remain in India to answer telephones and provide technical support for computer companies.

German Windbreaker

Q: What do you call "fart" in German?

A: Farfrompoopin!

Polish Scientistific Plans

Poland sent its top team of scientists to attend the international science convention, where all the countries of the world gathered to compare their scientific achievements and plans. The scientists listened to the United States describe how they were another step closer to a cure for cancer, and the Russians were preparing a space ship to go to Saturn, and Germany was inventing a car that runs on water. Soon, it was the Polish scientists' turn to speak. "Well, we are preparing a space ship to fly to the sun." This, of course was met with much ridicule. They were asked how they planned to deal with the sun's extreme heat. "Simple, we're going at night!"