Asian Pet Store
Q: What's the problem with an Asian pet store?
A: There's always a kitchen in the back!
Knock Knock - Cow
Cow goes who?
No, cow goes "Moo!"
Q: What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on?
A: A horse!
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"
"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world.", says Johnny. The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny and says, "Now you know that's not true son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."
Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true. But one drop of this on a cats ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
Q: Which day of the week do chickens hate most?