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The best jokes and joke writers!

Having Affairs

Q: Did you hear about the doctor who had his license taken away because he was having affairs with his patients?

A: Yup, it's a shame because he was one of the top veterinarians in the country!

Some Horny Guy

Once Upon A Time, there was a married woman, and she was not happy about her sex life, so she goes to see her doctor about it. Her doctor gives her some pills and tells her to put one in her husband's glass of water before going to sleep and then HAVE FUN. The woman comes back home and tries it the first night. She puts one pill in her husband's glass of water. And that night they have sex. The next night, the woman was happy but not quite content yet, decides to use two pills. That night their love making was even better then the night before. So the third night she decided that if two pills was great, then she would put all the pills in the glass of water. A week later, the doctor calls her house and asks: "Hello, how's the whole family doing?" The son, who answered the phone, answers: "Well, my Mom's dead, my Sister's pregnant, My ass hurts and my Dad is running around naked outside screaming, 'Here KITTY KITTY'."

The Show

A man walks into a brothel. He walks up to the proprietor and says: "What can I get for ten dollars?" The proprietor says: "Go up the stairs, first room on the right."

The man walks into the room and sits on the bed, he notices a small door at the bottom of one of the walls. The door opens up, and a chicken comes walking out. The man has his way with the chicken. The man comes back the next day and says to the proprietor: "I didn't really like that, and I'd like a refund."

The proprietor says: "Oh, good sir, trust me. Go up the stairs, but this time go into the first room on the left, and you won't want your ten dollars back."

So the man goes into the room, and this room is much larger than the other, with theatre-type seating, and a big curtain on one side. A few people are scattered throughout the seats, and the man sits down. The curtain opens up, and it's actually large flat screen TV and what appears to be a live camera feed of an orgy. The man leans over to a guy sitting next to him and says: "Man, this is something, huh?" The other guy says: "You should have been here yesterday. Some guy was fucking a chicken."

Ladies Night Out

Three women went out drinking and decided to have a contest to see who could get the drunkest. The next day the women all got together.

The first woman said, "I drove my car into a ditch."

The second woman said, "I blew chunks."

The third woman said, "I burned down my house."

After they all had told their stories, the third woman said, "I guess I won!" The second woman said, "Wait a minute, you don't understand, Chunks is my dog."

Lucky

A boy asks his mom, "Why am I black and you're white?" She says, "Don't even go there. The way that party went, you're lucky you don't bark."