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Alcohol Jokes - Beer Jokes
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Nun Beer
Two nuns were shopping at Kroger's. As they passed the cold beer cooler one nun commented that it would be nice to have a cold beer or two on this hot summer evening. The other nun agreed, "Indeed it would, sister, but I wouldn't feel comfortable buying beer here as it would likely cause a scene at the checkout." "I can handle that without a problem," the other nun replied. She added a six-pack of Blue Moon to her cart and headed for the checkout. The cashier had a surprised look on her face when the nuns handed her the beer and gave them a quizzical look. The nun said, "We use beer for washing our hair back at the convent, we call it a 'Catholic Shampoo'.
Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter and pulled out a large bag of pretzel sticks and placed them in the bag with the beer. She then looked at the nuns, smiled and said, "The curlers are on the house."
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Bus Driver
I went out drinking on St. Patrick's Day, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before.
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DNR
A husband and wife were sitting at home when the husband suddenly said, "Honey, just so you know, I never want to be kept alive in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
So the wife got up, pulled the plug on the T.V. and threw out all of his beer.
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