Q: What's the best part about Valentines Day?
A: The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.
Ghosts are hard to impress.
They boo everything.
Q: What is a vampire's valentine called?
A: His ghoul-friend.
My dissapointed wife called me from her work phone the day after Valentine's Day. She said, "Three of the girls in the office received flowers yesterday. They are absolutely gorgeous."
I said, "Well that's probably why they received flowers then."
Gift for Valentine's Day
A couple had been looking at new cars for months. He wanted a simple truck and she wanted a fast little sports car so she could zoom through traffic and look like a princess. He would have settled for almost any old truck, but everything she wanted was way out of price range. "Look!" she said. "I want something that goes from 0 to 220 in 5 seconds or less. Valentine's Day is coming up and you should surprise me with something really really great this year!" Soon Valentines Day arrived and she un-wrapped her brand new bathroom scale.