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The best jokes and joke writers!

Going Up

Q: Why do ghosts ride in elevators?

A: It keeps their spirits up.

Mexican Christmas

Q: Why do Mexicans make tamales on Christmas?

A: So they will have something to unwrap.

Little Leprechaun

Little Patrick asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes.

When he went to wipe his bum there was no toilet paper so he used his hands.

When he got back to class his teacher asked, "What do you have in your hand?"

Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get scared away."

He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him, "What do you have in your hand?"

So little Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."

He was sent home and his mom asked him "What do you have in your hand?"

So little Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."

He was sent to his room and his dad came in and asked, "What do you have in your hand?"

So again little Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."

Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, "Open your hands!"

And little Patrick opened his hands and said, "Look Dad you scared the shit out of him!"

Black Christmas

Q: What do black people and Christmas lights have in common?

A: Both hang from a tree they're not too bright and only half of them work.

Sharp Wrap

Q: What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?

A: A fur coat that fangs around your neck.