Holiday Jokes

A woman was taking a nap one afternoon. When she work up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a beautiful and expensive diamond necklace for Valentine’s Day! What do you think the dream means?”

“You’ll find out tonight,” he said.

That evening, her husband came home with a small package for her. Thrilled, she opened it and found a book titled “How to interpret your Dreams."

Q: Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?

A: Yes,  they're very scentimental!

A romantic Irishman named Paddy picked up a dozen valentines day roses for his girlfriend. He made a surprise visit to her house and rang her bell. When she opened the door and saw Paddy with the roses she smiled and gave Paddy a big kiss. Then she pulled Paddy into her apartment, seductively got undressed, sat on the couch and spread her legs wide. She said, Paddy, this is for the roses. Paddy said, Don't be silly, you must have a vase somewhere.

Q: What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

A: Hog and kisses!

As an easy way to save money, a young couple decided that every time they have sex the husband would put his pocket change into a piggy bank on the nightstand. On Valentine's night, he was unusually athletic and accidentally knocked the piggy bank off the table and it broke into pieces on the floor.

To his surprise, among the masses of coins, there are handfuls of five and ten and even twenty dollar bills. He asks his wife "What's up with all the paper money?", to his wife which replied, "Well, not everyone is as cheap as you are."