A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Never eat food offered by an adorable toddler relative.
It might look like a cookie, but it's actually the flu.
Listen, if you're going to someone's house for Thanksgiving dinner, complement their baseboards. That is what they are spending today cleaning.
Yo Mama - Christmas
Yo mama is so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner - so she went looking for it.
Knock Knock - Christmas
Megan and chicken
Megan and chicken who?
He's megan a list and chicken it twice, he's gonna find out who's naughty and nice...