Why They Call It the Wonder Bra
Q: Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
A: When you take it off you wonder where her tits went!
Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "Ooh dad, there's one." "No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We'll just wait." Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he's plenty big enough." "No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait." About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her." "No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either." "Why not?" asked the son. "Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother."
Q: What did one tampon say to the other?
A: Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.
Blonde - Crash
A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head where driving down the road, when a cop starts to chase them. They rush off and crash into the side of a barn, they immediately jump out of the car and hide under potato sacks. The cop runs in after them, and the first potato sack he comes to the brunette is under. He kicks it and the brunette says, "MEEEEOOOOOOW", and the cop says, "Oh! It's just a stupid cat." He then moves to the potato sack the red-head is under and kicks it. The red-head replies, "ROOF, ROOF", the cop, angry now, says, "STUPID DOG!!" Then the cop gets to the potato sack the blonde is under, he kicks it with great force and the blonde screams, "POOOOOOTAAAAAAATOOOOOOO!"
Ladies Night Out
Three women went out drinking and decided to have a contest to see who could get the drunkest. The next day the women all got together.
The first woman said, "I drove my car into a ditch."
The second woman said, "I blew chunks."
The third woman said, "I burned down my house."
After they all had told their stories, the third woman said, "I guess I won!" The second woman said, "Wait a minute, you don't understand, Chunks is my dog."