Ladies Night Out
Three women went out drinking and decided to have a contest to see who could get the drunkest. The next day the women all got together.
The first woman said, "I drove my car into a ditch."
The second woman said, "I blew chunks."
The third woman said, "I burned down my house."
After they all had told their stories, the third woman said, "I guess I won!" The second woman said, "Wait a minute, you don't understand, Chunks is my dog."
My girlfriend has a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh.
If you put your ear to it, you can smell the ocean.
Q: What does "WIFE" stand for?
A: Washing Ironing Food Entertainment
Dog and Fox
Q: What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
A: Eight beers.
The Blind Man at the Fish Market
This blind guy was walking past the fish market and he said, "Good morning ladies.."