Never Criticize the Dusting!
Our last fight was my fault. My wife asked me, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust."
Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering. The priest informs her that she cannot enter without it. A few moments later, the lady re-appears wearing her blouse tied to her head. The shocked priest says, "Madam, I cannot allow you to enter this holy place without your wearing a blouse." "But Father, I have a divine right," she informs. "Yes, I see. And your left one isn't bad either, but you still must wear a blouse to enter this church!" he insists.
A Life's Mystery
One of the life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.
I date this girl for two years -- and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name..."
A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Doug stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?" "I got it for my wife, eh." answers Bob. "Oh!" exclaims Doug, "Good trade!"