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The best jokes and joke writers!

Quiet Car

Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter? Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.

Getting A Haircut

Women's version:

Woman2: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!

Woman1: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

Woman2: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.

Woman1: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.

Woman2: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.

Woman1: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms - see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.

Men's version:

Man2: Haircut?

Man1: Yeah.

5 Qualities in a Woman

The five most important qualities in a woman:

  1. one who is independent and helps around the house,
  2. one who can make you laugh,
  3. one who you can trust,
  4. one who is good in bed,
  5. and most importantly, one who should make sure these four women never meet.

Why Women Are Bad Mathematicians

Q: Why are women so bad at mathematics?

A: Because men keep telling them that this...|<---------------------->|is 12 inches.

Sheep Dog Bra

The success of the "Wonder Bra" for under-endowed women, has encouraged the designers to come out with a bra for over-endowed women. It's called the "Sheep Dog Bra"...It rounds them up and points them in the right direction.