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The best jokes and joke writers!

Cliff Diving

Q: Why did the Mexican guy throw his wife off of a cliff?

A: Tequila!

Reading Bar

Q: What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature?

A: How tequila mockingbird !

Two Many Tequilas

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila.... floor.

Bar Translations

  1. "You get this round and the next round is on me." - I'll be leaving before the next round.
  2.  "I'll get this round and the next one is on you." - Happy hour is about to end. Beers are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $3.50.
  3. "Hey, where is that friend of yours?" - I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.
  4. "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (female) -I'm easy.
  5. "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (male) -I'm gay.
  6. "Ever try a body shot?" (male to female) - I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.
  7. "Ever try a body shot?" (female to male) - If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I'll do to you on the ride home?
  8. "I don't feel well, let's go home." (female) - You are paying more attention to your friends than me.
  9. I don't feel well, let's go home." (male) - I'm horny.
  10. "Who's got the next round?" - I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting attention.

Hitler Abstains

Q: Why didn't Hitler drink tequila?

A: Cause it made him mean.