We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Bus Driver

I went out drinking on St. Patrick's Day, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before. 

Irish Pick-up Line

You must be from Ireland ... because my baloney pony is Dublin every time I think about you!

St. Patrick's Day

What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day? On St. Patrick's Day everyone wishes they were Irish.

Leprechaun Lender

Q: Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?

A: Because they're always a little short.

Little Leprechaun

Little Patrick asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes.

When he went to wipe his bum there was no toilet paper so he used his hands.

When he got back to class his teacher asked, "What do you have in your hand?"

Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get scared away."

He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him, "What do you have in your hand?"

So little Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."

He was sent home and his mom asked him "What do you have in your hand?"

So little Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."

He was sent to his room and his dad came in and asked, "What do you have in your hand?"

So again little Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."

Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, "Open your hands!"

And little Patrick opened his hands and said, "Look Dad you scared the shit out of him!"