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The best jokes and joke writers!

Difference Between Mayonnaise and Sperm

Q: What's the difference between mayonnaise and sperm?

A: Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girls throat at 40 mph.

Pay Me

Q: What are porn stars paid?

A: Income

Female Sex Change

Q: What do you call a female sex change?

A: An addadictomy.

Marv Albert's Firing

Q: What did Marv Albert do after NBC gave him the pink slip?

A: He put it on.

The Worm Hole!

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves when the little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole. "The grandfather smiles. "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole. "The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then he stuffs the worm back into the hole. The grandfather, impressed with his grandson's ingenuity, hands him five dollars ... then grabs the hair spray and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later, the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars?" The grandfather replies, "Yes, I know. But that's from your grandma!"