Profession Jokes

Q: How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs?

A: None - "He fell".

A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, "Are all of those kids yours?" He replies, "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."

The external organs of a body were fighting over who should be boss.

The brain said, "I should be boss, since I control what the person thinks."

The hands said, "I should be boss because I do almost everything for the person."

The legs declared, "I should be boss since I carry the body and all the weight is on me."

So they went on, each stating their qualities and uses.Then the Asshole spoke up, "I think I should be boss, because.."

He had not finished when everyone else started laughing at him.

"You, an asshole, be the boss? You gotta be kidding!"

The asshole was very unhappy, and he closed himself up.The body soon suffered a terrible constipation, and the organs could not take it anymore.

"Ok, ok, you're the boss!" They gave in. So the asshole became the boss of the body.

The moral of the story: You don't need brains to be a boss, you just need to be an asshole.

Q: Why did the student eat her homework?

A: Because the teacher said it would be a 'piece of cake'.

Boy: Will you punish me for something I didn't do?

Teacher: Of course not!

Boy: Good, cause I didn't do my homework!