Sex Jokes

Q: Why did Helen wear skin-tight pants?

A: So her friends could read her lips.

Q: What do black people and sperm have in common?

A: Only one in a million work.

You must be from Ireland ... because my baloney pony is Dublin every time I think about you!

Q: Why did Daft Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun?

A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"

A man is eating in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous blond eating at the next table. He has been checking her out all night, but lacks the nerve to go talk to her. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of her socket towards the man. He reflexively grabs and snatches it out of the air. "Oh my god, I am sooo sorry, " the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you." They enjoy a wonderful dinner together and afterwards the woman invites him back to her place for a drink. They go back to her house, and after a bit she leads him into the bedroom and begins undressing him. The couple have wild passionate sex over and over all night. The next morning when he awakens, she has already gotten up and brings him breakfast in bed. The guy is amazed. "You know, you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?" "No, she replies.... "You just happened to catch my eye."