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Sex Jokes
Marriage Counselor
Magnussen goes to a marriage counselor and says, "My wife isn't as much fun as she used to be."
The marriage counselor says, "Do you still enjoy a roll in the hay?"
Magnussen says, "As much as the next fellow."
The counselor says, "Maybe between you and the next fellow, she's exhausted."
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Man Goes to the Psychiatrist
A man goes to a psychiatrist. To start things off, the psychiatrist suggests they start with a Rorschach Test. He holds up the first picture and asks the man what he sees. "A man and a woman making love in a park," the man replies. The psychiatrist holds up the second picture and asks the man what he sees. "A man and a woman making love in a boat." He holds up the third picture. "A man and a woman making love at the beach." This goes on for the rest of the set of pictures; the man says he sees a man and a woman making love in every one of the pictures. At the end of the test, the psychiatrist looks over his notes and says, "It looks like you have a preoccupation with sex." And the man replies, "Well, you're the one with the dirty pictures."
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Special Night
There are three women. One is dating, one is engaged, and one is married. They decide to get kinky with their men and really pull out all the stops to make it extra special. The woman who is dating says, “Okay, so I bought black leather, red lipstick, fishnet stockings, and really got crazy. He loved it so much he thinks he’s in love.” The woman who is engaged says, “I showed up to his work after hours wearing only a red coat. Let’s just say he wants to move the wedding date up!” The woman who is married says, “Okay, I really went all out. I got a babysitter for the kids, and bought a black mask and a whip. My husband gets home, goes straight to the fridge, and grabs a beer. Then he plops down on the couch and says, "Hey Batman! Where the f*ck is dinner?!?"
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