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The best jokes and joke writers!

Beach Power

My mum has a small shop near the beach, where you can buy batteries ...

She sells C cells by the seashore.

Mother Knows Best

My mother used to say the way to a mans heart is through his stomach. Lovely woman.

Useless surgeon.

Thumb Sucking

A mom, dad and their two sons watch TV. The dad gives the mom a look, and they head upstairs. The two little boys wonder what they are doing and go upstairs to take a peek. "Well," says the older boy, "remember this when mom gets on your case for sucking your thumb."

First Hand Testing

During a recent study, it was found that the average male penis measures five and a half inches.

That study was conducted by your mom.

When to Wean

Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?

A: When you see teeth marks.