Jokes about Families - Mother Jokes

Snakes And Bushes

Little Johnny walks in on his mother in the bathtub. He asks his mother what is the big fuzzy patch below her bellybutton. She replies, "A bush." The next day Little Johnny walks in on his father while he's in the shower. He asks, "What is that big long thing hanging between your legs?" His father replies, "It is a snake." A few days later, Little Johnny walks in on his mother, once again in the bathtub. He asks, "What are those two baggy things hanging above your bellybutton?" She replies, "Headlights." A couple weeks go by and the little boy walks in on his parents having sex. He yells, "Mom, turn on your headlights! The snake is crawling into your bush!"

Categories: Word Play Jokes , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Father Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Son Jokes) , Little Johnny / Suzie Jokes (At Home) , Sex Jokes
Anonymous

How did I get here?

A little girl asked her mother how she got here. Her mother, misty-eyed, smiled and replied, “Once upon a time your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day. The little seed grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful healthy plant. So we took the plant, dried it, smoked it, and got so high that we fucked without a condom.”

Categories: Sex Jokes , Drug Jokes (Marijuana Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Daughter Jokes)
Anonymous

Father Knows

Q: Mom, what's an orgasm?
A: I don't know, ask your dad.

Categories: Riddles , Sex Jokes , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes)
Anonymous