Dark Humor Jokes

A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth." The man said, "No problem." With that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth.  "Try these," he said. The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said. The man then said, "I have another pair... try these." The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight."  The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more pair of false teeth... try them. "The speaker said, "They fit perfectly." With that he ate his meal and gave his address. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my aid.  Where is your office?  I've been looking for a good dentist." The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm the local undertaker."

A redneck brings his daughter to the gynecologist for birth control pills. The doctor asks, "Is your daughter sexually active?" The redneck says, "Naw, she just lays there like her mother."

If you die and get cremated, you can be put into an hourglass and still be included in family game night

Q: What do you call an African-American lady whose spouse just died?

A: A black widow.

Q: Where do black people wear suits?

A: Courts & coffins