Dark Humor Jokes

Q: Where do black people wear suits?

A: Courts & coffins

A mother driving her two young boys to a funeral, she tried to prepare them by talking about burial and what we believe happens after death. The boys behaved well during the service. At the grave site she discovered her explanations weren't as thorough as she'd thought. In a loud voice, her four-year-old asked, "Mom?" "Yes?" "What's in the box?"

Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "Ooh dad, there's one." "No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We'll just wait." Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he's plenty big enough." "No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait." About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her." "No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either." "Why not?" asked the son. "Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother."

A little boy comes running Into the room and says, "Grandpa! Grandpa! Can you make a sound like a frog?" The Grandpa says, "I don't know, why?"

The little boy says, "Because grandma says as soon as you croak, we can go to Disneyland!"

An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. "I want to become a lawyer. How much is it for the express degree you told me about?" "It's $50,000," the lawyer said. "But why? You'll be dead soon, why do you want to become a lawyer?"  "That's my business! Get me the course!"  Four days later, the old man got his law degree. His lawyer was at his bedside, making sure his bill would be paid.  Suddenly, the old man was racked with fits of coughing and it was clear that this would be the end.  Still curious, the lawyer leaned over and said, "please, before it's too late, tell me why you wanted to to get a law degree so badly before you died?"  In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last, the old man said, "One less lawyer . . ."