Jokes about Families - Father Jokes

Dad Will Never Say

Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say:
10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.
9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?
8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain "up yours" attitude ... I like that.
7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car -- GO CRAZY.
6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?
5. Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend ... you might want to consider throwing a party.
4. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies -- you know -- that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.
3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring -- now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.
2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.
1. Father's Day? aahh -- don't worry about that -- it's no big deal.

Categories: Jokes about Families (Father Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Playground Fun

I love taking the kids to the park. The laughter. The joy. The shouts of "Higher! Push me higher!" and their shouts of "Dad, when's it my turn on the swing?"

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Jokes about Families (Father Jokes)
Copyright © 2015 - Kiel Phillips - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Written By: KielPhillips

Phone Call

"Hi Mom, it's me." "Hi Sally, are you okay? I thought you were with your father at the hardware store, looking for a drill." "Yeah, I was, but I got arrested and they've let me make one phone call, and that's why I'm calling you." "Oh my God, what happened?"
"Oh, I punched this African-American woman in the face." "What on earth . . . Why did you do that?"
"Well, it really wasn't my fault. Dad told me to find a Black and Decker. Mom, I knocked the shit out of her!"

Categories: Telephone Jokes , Racist Jokes (Black Jokes) , Blonde Jokes (Dumb Blonde Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Father Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Daughter Jokes)
Anonymous