Jokes about Families - Father Jokes

Oldest

Dad: "You ask too many questions. Just like your older brother used to."
Me: "But... I'm the oldest."
Dad: "You are now"

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Father Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Son Jokes)
Anonymous

Father's Day

One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. by by, Grandpa." The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked. The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. by by, Grandma." The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack. Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night.  Sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. by by, Daddy." Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine.
When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found the milkman dead on our porch this morning!"

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Religion Jokes (God Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Father Jokes)
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Anonymous

Redneck Girl and Dad

Q: What did the redneck girl say when she woke up with her dad on top of her?
A: "Watch it Pa or you'll crush my smokes!"
 

Categories: Redneck Jokes , Jokes about Families (Father Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Incest Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Daughter Jokes) , Riddles
Anonymous