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The best jokes and joke writers!

500 Girlfriends

Q: What do you call a villager with 500 girlfriends?

A: A shepherd.

The Italian

One day I go to Toronto and stay in a bigga hotel. I go down to eat soma breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two pissa toast. She bring me only one piss.I tella her I wanna two piss; she say, go to toilet - I say, you no understand, I wanna two piss on my plate. She say you betta no piss on plate, you sonna ma b*tch! I don't even know lady, she calla me somma ma b*tch.Then I go to pharmacia with a cougha. The man he give me candy an atell me fa cough! - I don't even know man ana he tella me FA COUGH! Later I got to eat soma lunch at Ricky's Place, the waitress she bring me spoon, a knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock - She tell me everybody wanna fock. I tella her, you no understand, I wanna fock on table. She say you betta not fock on table you sonnama b*tch - I not even know lady ana she call me sonna ma b*tch. So, I go back to my hotel room, an there's no sheet on my bed. I calla the manager and tella him I wanna sheet, he tell me go to toilet. So, I say, you no understand, I wanna sheet on bed. He say you betta not sheet on bed you sonna ma b*tch. I don't even know manana he call me sonna ma b*tch! I go to check out of hotel and man at desk say peace to you. I say peace on you too!, you sonna ma b*tch! - I GO BACK TO ITALY!!!

Dog Decisions

Q: Would you rather have a 300-pound dog chase you or a tiger?

A: I'd rather have him chase the tiger.

Cowboy Lovin

A group of cowboys were branding some cattle. While they were out the cook saw a sheep tied to a post. Thinking it was for that nights dinner, he cooked it. That night after dinner the cowboys were all sulking and ignoring the cook. The cook pulled a cowboy aside and asked, "Did I screw up the cooking..." "No", the cowboy replied, "You cooked up the screwing."

Dead Dog Or...

Q: What is worse than a dead dog on your piano?

A: An infected pussy on your organ.