We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Knock Knock - Remember

Bob: "Will you remember me tomorrow?" 

Bill: "Yes"

Bob "Will you remember me next week?" 

Bill  "Yes"

Bob: "Will you remember me next month??"

Bill: "Yes"

Bob: "Will you remember me next year?"

Bill: "Yeah"

Bob: "Knock Knock"

Bill: "Who's There?"

Bob: "See, you forgot me already!"

Mario Mix

Q: How can you tell Mario is racist?

A: He's an Italian plumber, made by Japanese people, who speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!

Humorous Moment

A cop pulls over a car. He walks up to the car, the driver lowers his window and a cloud of weed smoke pours out.  The cop looks at the driver and notices his eyes are as red as a stop sign. The cop then asks the driver, "How high are you?

The driver laughs and says, No officer, it's Hi, How are you...

I Like Your Thinking

One day in class, the teacher brought a bag full of fruit and said, "Now class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit and you tell me which fruit I'm talking about. Alright, the first one is round, plump, and red. Little Johnny raised his hand high but the teacher ignored him and picked Deborah who promptly answered, "Apple." The teacher replied, "No Deborah, it's a beet, but I like your thinking. Now the second one is soft, fuzzy and colored red and brown." Johnny is hopping up and down in his seat trying to get the teacher to call on him but she calls on Billy. "Is it a peach?" Billy asks. "No, it's a potato, but I like your thinking," the teacher replies. "Okay the next one is long, yellow, and fairly hard." Johnny is about to explode as he waves his hand frantically but the teacher calls on Sally who say, "A banana." The teacher responds, "No, it's a squash, but I like your thinking." Johnny is irritated now so he speaks up loudly, "Hey, I've got one for you teacher. Let me put my hand in my pocket. Okay, I've got it. It's round, hard, and it's got a head on it." "Johnny!" she cries, "That's disgusting!" "Nope," answers Johnny, "It's a quarter, but I like your thinking!"

Toilet Seat

Q: How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat?

A: Who knows - it's never been done.