Religion Jokes

Q: Why did the black man convert to Catholicism?

A: So he could finally have a father.

Why are we so sure that Eve was African? If she were white, she wouldn't have eaten that apple! She would say, "Is this organic? What would Oprah do?" If she had been Asian, she'd have eaten the damn snake!

A Muslim immigrant in Dearborn Michigan goes to a Doctor and says, "I feel terrible."

The Doctor examines him and then says, "You need to take a bucket, throw in a dead fish and a rotting cabbage, then piss and shit in it for a week. Hold your face over the bucket, put a towel over your head, and inhale the vapors for 3 days".

The man follows the Doctors's orders and returns in a week, telling the Doctor, "I feel wonderful! What was wrong with me?"

"You were homesick."

Q: What did God say when he made the first black man?

A: "Damn, I burnt one."

A Chinese man walks into a bar in America late one night and he sees Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get outta here!"

The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor, it was the Japanese!"  "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese you're all the same," replied Spielberg.  

In return, the Chinese man gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship." Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me!"

The Chinese man, replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same!"