Religion Jokes

One night when a boy prayed to God, the boy asked god:

How Long is 1 million years to you?

God replies: 1 second.

The Boy asked God: How much is 1 million dollars to you?

God replies: 1 penny.

Then the boy asked God if he could have a penny.

God replies...sure, "gimme 1 second".

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying as though he was ill, and asked, "Johnny what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife!"

Three young boys were walking on the sidewalk arguing over whose daddy was the greatest. One said, "My dad is the greatest because he is the president of the town bank." The second boy said, "That is pretty good, but my daddy owns two grocery stores in town!" The third boy said, "That's nothing, my dad is a preacher, and he owns hell. He came home last night and told my mom that the Church Board gave it to him!"

Q: What time do you have to be back in Heaven?

A: Because I have to be back in my grave in about six hours.

Q: Why did the black man convert to Catholicism?

A: So he could finally have a father.