Religion Jokes

Duck Heaven

Once upon a time there was three sisters that went to duck heaven. St. Patrick welcomed them and said, "We are happy to have you here in Duck Heaven, but I warn you if you step on a duck in Duck Heaven you will be chained to the ugliest man on Earth!" So, the three girls were really careful where they stepped. After a week the first girl stepped on a duck... so, she was chained to the ugliest man on Earth! After a month the second sister stepped on a duck... so, she was chained to the second ugliest man on the Earth! After a year in Duck Heaven the third sister never ever stepped on a duck so St. Patrick said, "You have been very good here in Duck Heaven so we have a treat for you!" So, she was chained to the most handsome and perfect man on the Earth! "What did I do to deserve you?" she asked the man. "Well I don't know about you lady," replied the man. "But I stepped on a duck!!!"

Categories: Animal Jokes (Duck Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Sister Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Heaven Jokes) , Appearance Jokes (Ugly Jokes)
Anonymous

First Black Man

Q: What did God say when he made the first black man?
A: "Damn, I burnt one."

Categories: Racist Jokes (Black Jokes) , Riddles , Religion Jokes (God Jokes)
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Anonymous

Rocket Fuel

The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"
"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world.", says Johnny. The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny and says, "Now you know that's not true son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."
Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true. But one drop of this on a cats ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Religion Jokes (Nun / Priest Jokes) , Little Johnny / Suzie Jokes , Animal Jokes (Cat Jokes)
Anonymous