Fulfilling a Promise
A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter. Then she started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me Irving?" She answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!" She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?" She answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!" Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving remember that BJ I promised you? Here it comes..."
Q: What do you say when you see your television floating at night?
A: "Drop it nigga."
Q: Where do frogs keep their money?
A: In a river bank!
A black woman went down to the welfare office to receive financial aid. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?" She told him ten."What are their names?" he asked.
"LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy," she answered.
"They're all named LeRoy?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?"
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'LeRoy,' and they all come running in."
"And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?"
"I just say, 'LeRoy, come eat your dinner'," she answered.
"But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked.
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!"
Yo Mama - Robbed
Yo momma so small, she got robbed by a gummy bear!