Ponderings Continued

• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
• When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
• Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
• Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
• When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
• Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
• Why are wise man and a wise guy opposites?
• Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
• If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
• Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

Floating Television

Q: What do you say when you see your television floating at night?
A: "Drop it nigga."

Make a Donation

At the United Way in a fairly small town a volunteer worker noticed that the most successful lawyer in the whole town hadn't made a contribution. This guy was making about $600,000 a year so the volunteer thought, "Why not call him up?" He calls up the lawyer. "Sir, according to our research you haven't made a contribution to the United Way, would you like to do so?" The lawyer responds, "A contribution? Does your research show that I have an invalid mother who requires expensive surgery once a year just to stay alive?" The worker is feeling a bit embarrassed and says, "Well, no sir, I'm..." "Does your research show that my sister's husband was killed in a car accident? She has three kids and no means of support!" The worker is feeling quite embarrassed at this point. "I'm terribly sorry..." "Does your research show that my brother broke his neck on the job and now requires a full time nurse to have any kind of normal life?" The worker is completely humiliated at this point. "I am sorry sir, please forgive me..." "The gall of you people! I don't give them anything, so why should I give it to you!"