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The best jokes and joke writers!

Tooth Fairy

After losing another tooth, young Timmy became more curious about the mysterious tooth fairy. Finally putting two and two together, he came right out and asked, "Mom, are you the tooth fairy?" Deciding he was old enough to hear the truth, she replied, "Yes Timmy, I am." Timmy seemed to take this news quite well. As he headed for the door though, he slowly turned back toward his mother with a curious look on his face and said, "Wait a minute mom... how do you get into the other kids' houses?"

White Hair

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something wrong and make me unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and said, "Mama, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

A Fortunate Coincidence

John: "I'm glad you named me John."

Mother: "Why?"

John: "Because that's what all the kids at school call me."

Prize Convertible

There was this boy in high school that was what you would consider a nerd. Anyway he had his own lab in the basement of his home and one night he came up and said, "Dad look what I made." So he poured a flask of fluid into a pot of soil and instantly grass started to grow.

Of course his dad was really impressed with this and asked his son if he can make something to make his penis grow.

His son thought for a minute and said that if he did then dad would have to buy him a convertible. Dad agreed.

The next night the son came out of the basement and gave his dad a vial. The next morning his father came to him and told him that he had something to show him. They went to the front yard and the boy saw a cherry red ferrari.

The son looked at his dad and said, "I only asked for a convertible."

The dad replied, "The convertible is in the garage. The Ferrari is from your mother."

Grocery Shopping

A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the child asked for cookies and her mother told her "no." The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, "Now Ellen, we just have half of the aisles left to go through; don't be upset. It won't be long." He passed the Mother again in the candy aisle. Of course, the little girl began to shout for candy. When she was told she couldn't have any, she began to cry. The mother said, "There, there, Ellen, don't cry. Only two more aisles to go, and then we'll be checking out." The man again happened to be behind the pair at the check-out, where the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there would be no gum purchased today. The mother patiently said, "Ellen, we'll be through this check out stand in five minutes, and then you can go home and have a nice nap." The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. "I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Ellen..." The mother broke in, "I'm Ellen, the little shit's name is Tammy."