An old lady’s cat gives birth to a litter of kittens. She says to the vet, “How could it have happened? She never leaves the house. How could she meet another cat?” “What about that tom sitting on the sofa?” asks the vet. “Don’t be ridiculous ,” says the old lady. That's her brother.
Whom Do You Trust?
A redneck returns to the doctors after having some tests and asks what the results were. The doctor explains that he has some bad news, in fact, the patient is HIV positive. "Hell, " says the man, "You can't trust anybody nowadays, not even your own kids!"
Q: How many dicks can a redneck girl take at a time?
A: It depends on how many brothers she has.
Q: How do Redneck mothers know when their daughters are having their period?
A: Their son's dicks taste funny!
You Might Be A Redneck 44
You might be a redneck if...
- Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job, primer red and primer gray.
- The tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
- Your mom calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
- The ASPCA raids your kitchen.
- You have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
- You can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
- You celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.
- Your kid takes a siphon hose to show-and-tell.
- You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.