Q: Why do black people hate country music?
A: Because when they hear the word 'hoedown' they think their sister got shot!
Two Arab brothers move to the USA and make a bet as to which of them would be the most "americanized" in a year. They have a phone call to celebrate their one year anniversary. One brother comments, "I just picked up my kids from baseball practice and we're heading to McDonald's."
The other brother says, "fuck off, towelhead!"
A nine-year old boy goes into the grocery store, grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register. The cashier asks, "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?" "Nope," says the boy, "not for my mom." The cashier responds, "Well, then they must be for your sister then?" "Nope," says the boy, "not for my sister, neither." The cashier is now curious, "Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister -- then who are they for?" The nine-year-old says, "They're for my little brother. They say on TV, if you wear one of these, you can swim and ride a bike, and my little brother can't do either of those things."
Phone For Texas Aggie
Soon after the Texas Aggie clocked in for work, the foreman called him over and told him that he had a phone call in the front office. When the Aggie returned, he had a mournful expression on his face and his head hung low. His foreman noticed and asked if he had received bad news. "Shure was, Boss" he replied, "I just found out that my mother died earlier this morning." "Gosh, that's awful," replied the foreman "Do you want the rest of the day off?" "No," replied the Aggie. "I'll finish the day out." About an hour later, the foreman returned to inform him that there was another phone call for him up front. This time when the Aggie returned he looked twice as glum and the foreman asked if everything was alright. "Jezz, Boss this has to be the worst day of my life," Moaned the Aggie. "That was my brother, and his mother died today too!"
It Was An Accident
Q: "Johnny, why did you kick your brother in the stomach?" exclaimed the angry mother.
A: “It was pure accident, Mama. He turned around.”