Q: Why do black people hate country music?
A: Because when they hear the word 'hoedown' they think their sister got shot!
Q: What do robots and black fathers have in common?
A: Nuts and Bolts.
An old man finds a condom in his grandson's apartment and asks what it is. "It's a condom," replies the grandson, sheepishly. "What do you use it for?" asks Grandpa. The grandson is embarrassed, so he says, "I use it to keep my cigarettes dry when I smoke in the rain." Grandpa says, "That's a great idea." He goes to the drug store and asks the pharmacist for a condom. "What size would you like?" asks the pharmacist. "Big enough to fit a Camel."
New Hearing Aid
Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
To which the gentleman said, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"