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The best jokes and joke writers!

Kentucky Kid

A kid, just getting home from school runs up to his dad.

"Daddy, daddy! I'm the only one in my class that can count to ten. Why do you reckon so?" he asked.

"Why, that's because your from Kentucky son." The dad responsed.

The next day the kid gets home from school.

"Daddy, daddy! I'm the only one in my class that knows all the letters in the alphabet. Why do you reckon so?"

"That's because you're from Kentucky son." The dad tells him again.

The next day the kid busts through the door.

"Daddy. daddy! I'm the only one in school who has a large penis, is that because I'm from Kentucky?"

The dad looks at him and says, "No that's because you're 22."

White Hair

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something wrong and make me unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and said, "Mama, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

Talking Frog

My 75 year old Dad was taking his daily walk through the park when he heard a tiny voice calling to him.

"Hey, mister! Pssst, mister!"

Dad looked all around, and spotted a little frog sitting in the grass looking up at him.

"Hey mister," said the frog. "A wicked witch cast a spell on me, and turned me into an ugly frog. If you'll just kiss me I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and be forever grateful."

Dad reached down, picked up the frog, put it in his pocket, and proceeded to walk on.

The frog called out to him again, "Hey! Didn't you hear me? I said if you'll kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess and be forever grateful."

Dad replied, "I heard you, but at my age, I'd rather just have a talking frog!"

Sisters Growing Old

Once upon a time there were three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, and they all lived together. One night the 96 year old ran a bath. She put one foot in and paused. "Was I getting in the tub or out?" she yelled. The 94 year old hollered back, "I don't know. I'll come and see." She started up the stairs and stopped. She shouted, "Was I going up or coming down?" The 92 year old sitting at the kitchen table having tea, listening to her sisters, she shook her head and said, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful," and knocked on wood for good measure. Then she yelled, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."

Sooner

A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"