"Hi Mom, it's me." "Hi Sally, are you okay? I thought you were with your father at the hardware store, looking for a drill." "Yeah, I was, but I got arrested and they've let me make one phone call, and that's why I'm calling you." "Oh my God, what happened?"
"Oh, I punched this African-American woman in the face." "What on earth . . . Why did you do that?"
"Well, it really wasn't my fault. Dad told me to find a Black and Decker. Mom, I knocked the shit out of her!"
Q: Why do black people hate country music?
A: Because when they hear the word 'hoedown' they think their sister got shot!
Dad, why is my sister named Teresa?
Because your mom loves Easter and Teresa is an anagram of Easter.
Cool idea! Thanks, Dad!
You're welcome, Alan
Grosser Than Gross - Grandma
Q: What's grosser than gross?
A: Kissing your grandmother hello and her tongue slips in!
Boy & Grandpa
A little boy comes running Into the room and says, "Grandpa! Grandpa! Can you make a sound like a frog?" The Grandpa says, "I don't know, why?"
The little boy says, "Because grandma says as soon as you croak, we can go to Disneyland!"