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The best jokes and joke writers!

Shady Dog

Q: Why did the dog sit in the shade?

A: Because he didn't want to be a hot dog!

Granny Rules

My Grandad was wounded by a German during the war

Granny Schneider found him in bed with another woman and shot him

Many Moons

A long time ago, an Indian chief fell into an outhouse. 50 years later a man went into the outhouse and saw the chief. "How long have you been in there?" the man asked. "Many moons my son, many moons!"

The good, bad, and ugly!

  • Good: Your son studies a lot in his room
  • Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
  • Ugly: You're in them
  • Good: Your husband understands fashion
  • Bad: He's a cross-dresser
  • Ugly: He looks better than you
  • Good: Your son's finally maturing
  • Bad: He's involved with the woman next door
  • Ugly: So are you
  • Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter
  • Bad: She keeps interrupting
  • Ugly: With corrections
  • Good: Your wife's not talking to you
  • Bad: She wants a divorce
  • Ugly: She's a lawyer
  • Good: The postman's early
  • Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying an AK47
  • Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas
  • Good: Your daughter got a new job
  • Bad: As a hooker
  • Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients
  • Way ugly: She makes more money than you do
  • Good: You're son is dating someone new
  • Bad: It's another man
  • Ugly: He's you're best friend
  • Good: You're wife is pregnant
  • Bad: It's triplets
  • Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.

Daughter's Eighteenth Birthday

I'm so glad that this is my last child support payment. Month after month, year after year, those payments! So I called my baby girl, Kareesha, to come over to my house, and when she got there, I said to her, "Baby girl, I want you to take this last check over to your mother's house and tell her that this is the last check she's ever going to get from me, and I want you to come back and tell me the expression that's on her face." So my baby girl took the check over to her. I was really anxious to hear what she had to say and what she looked like.. As my baby girl walked through the door, I said, "Now what did she have to say?" "She told me to tell you that you ain't my daddy, and to watch the expression on your face."