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I went out with my girlfriend and asked her, "Why is it every time I go out with you, I end up spending hundreds of dollars?" She answered, "Because I'm a prostitute."
A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, "Are all of those kids yours?" He replies, "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."
I've fucked in the sun, I've fucked in the rain. I've fucked before, and I'll fuck again. But I'll never be happy, I'll never be free, 'til I've fucked the Government like the Government's fucked me!
