Relationship Jokes - Woman Criticizes Man

Break In

"Get this." said the bloke to his mates, "Last night while I was down at the pub with you guys, a burglar broke into my house." "Did he get anything." his mates asked. "Yeah! A broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of busted nuts. The wife thought it was me coming home drunk."

Categories: Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Word Play Jokes , Profession Jokes (Criminal Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Men And Cats

Q: How are a husband and a cat similar when it comes to housework?
A: They both hide when they see the vacuum cleaner.

Categories: Animal Jokes (Cat Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Sexist Jokes (About Men) , Riddles
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Sleeping in Church

Wilma and her husband Barney go to church every Sunday, and during the service Barney falls asleep. One afternoon Wilma goes to the priest and asks what she can do. The priest hands her a needle and tells her to prick him with it everytime he falls asleep. The next week at church Barney falls asleep while the priest is talking and when the priest asks who is our savior?  Wilma pokes him with the needle and he yells out JESUS!! Soon after that he goes back to sleep. The next question the priest asks is: Who is Jesus's Father? Wilma pokes him with the needle and Barney yells out GOD!! and goes back to sleep. The last question the priest asks is what did Eve say to Adam after he impregnated her for the 99th time? Wilma pricks him with the needle again and he yells: IF YOU POKE THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME I'LL SNAP IT IN HALF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE!!

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Catholic Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous