Relationship Jokes - Woman Criticizes Man

DNR

A husband and wife were sitting at home when the husband suddenly said, "Honey, just so you know, I never want to be kept alive in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
So the wife got up, pulled the plug on the T.V. and threw out all of his beer.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Word Play Jokes , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Alcohol Jokes (Beer Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man)
Submitted BY: kaiofthelexx1

The Mistress

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when an absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she'll see him later, and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, "Who was that?!" "Oh" replies the husband, "that was my mistress." "That's it," says the wife, "I want a divorce." "Ok," replies her husband, "but remember, if you get a divorce there will be no more shopping trips to Paris, no wintering in the Caribbean, no Lexus in the garage, and no more country club. But, the decision is yours." Just then the wife notices a mutual friend entering the restaurant with a gorgeous woman. "Who is that woman with Jim?" she asks. "That's his mistress," replies her husband. "Ours is much better looking." says the wife.

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Relationship Jokes (Divorce Jokes)
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Anonymous

Clinton Surprise

Hillary Clinton goes in for her annual gynecological exam. The doctor tells her she's pregnant. Hillary realizes this will eliminate her chance to run for president and storms out of the office to call Bill. "You got me pregnant! How could you be so careless?" After a moment of stunned silence, Bill says, "Who is this?"

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Sex Jokes , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Political Jokes (About Democrats) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man)
Anonymous