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The best jokes and joke writers!

Saving Up

This old geezer of 78 marries a girl of 18. The morning after the wedding night, the girl comes down with a pained expression on her face. "What's the matter, dear?" asks the woman at the front desk. "Well," sniffed the girl, "He told me he'd been saving up for 60 years, and I thought he meant his money!"

Men And Cats

Q: How are a husband and a cat similar when it comes to housework?

A: They both hide when they see the vacuum cleaner.

Clinton Surprise

Hillary Clinton goes in for her annual gynecological exam. The doctor tells her she's pregnant. Hillary realizes this will eliminate her chance to run for president and storms out of the office to call Bill. "You got me pregnant! How could you be so careless?" After a moment of stunned silence, Bill says, "Who is this?"

Candlelight Dinner -Riddles

Q: What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelight dinner?

A: When the power goes off.

Gun Shopping

A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. "It`s for my husband," she tells the clerk. "Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk. "Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn't even know that I`m going to shoot him!"