Animal Jokes - Cat Jokes
Q: How do you get milk from a witch's cat?
A: Steal her saucer!
Cat Facts for Cat Lovers
- An aquarium is just interactive television for cats.
- Anything on the ground is a cat toy. Anything not there yet, will be.
- At least dogs do what you tell them to do. Cats take a message and get back to you.
- Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
- Cat rule #1: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
- Cat rule #2: Bite the hand that won't feed you fast enough.
- Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
- Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
- Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit.
- Cats don't hunt seals. They would if they knew what they were and where to find them. But they don't, so that's all right.
- Cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
- Cats know what we feel. They don't care, but they know. Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.
- Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
- Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
- I had to get rid of my wife. The cat was allergic.
- I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.
- In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.
- On the Internet, nobody knows you're a cat.
- One cat just leads to another.
- People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.
- Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.
- There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.
- When I wash the cat, it takes me hours to get the hair off my tongue.
- You can always tell a cat, but you can't tell him much.
Q: Who delivers Christmas presents to cats?
A: Santa Paws !
Q: What do tigers sing at Christmas?
A: "Jungle Bells".
Q: What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon?
A: A sour puss.