Cheating Wifes

Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine." His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. The other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine." Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."

Healthy wife

May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead.

Who's Your Daddy

A teenage boy comes home and announces that he wants to marry the girl next door, Jane Jones. His father takes him aside and says, “I’m sorry , son, but years ago I was having an affair with Jane’s mother and I got her pregnant. You can’t marry her because she’s your half-sister.” A month later the son comes home and announces that he wants to marry a girl up the street, Sarah Smith. Again his father confesses that he once had an affair with Mrs . Smith, and that Sarah is in fact another half-sister. A month later the son announces his engagement to Amy Armstrong, but once more his father confesses that Amy is in fact another of his daughters. The son complains to his mother. “Dad’s driving me crazy,” he says. “Every time I fall in love with a girl it turns out she’s one of Dad’s daughters.” “Oh pay no attention to him,” says his mother. “It’s not like he’s your real father.”