We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Strip Joint

Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave, how ya doin?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, "You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser".

"No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them."

A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. "Hi Davey," she says, "Want your usual table dance?"

Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her and she starts screaming at him.

The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave!"

Four Feet

A business woman comes home late one night and quietly opened the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket she sees four feet instead of two. She can't believe her husband would cheat on her. In a rage, she reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. She begins crying and goes to the kitchen to have a stiff drink. 

As she enters, she's startled to see her husband sitting at the table reading a magazine. “Hi Darling,” he said, “Your parents were driving to Florida and surprised us with a visit."  They're only staying for the night so I gave them our bedroom.

Professional Courtesy?

A doctor and his wife were sunbathing on a beach when a beautiful young blonde in a tight-fitting bikini strolled past. The blonde looked a the doctor, smiled seductively, and murmured in a very sexy voice, "Hi there handsome. How ya doing?" She then wiggled her backside and walked off. "Who was that?" demanded the doctor's wife."Er- just a woman I met professionally." stammered the doctor. "Oh yeah?" his wife snarled. "In whose profession? Yours or hers?"

Leaving Early

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early. "Hey girls," says the brunette, "Let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know." The next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time. "That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime." "No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught!"

Hypothetically Speaking

A little boy goes up to his father and asks: "Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?" The father replies, "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the mailman for $500,000." The boy goes and asks his mother, "Mom, would you have sex with the mailman for $500,000?" The mother replies, "Hell yes I would!" The little boy returns to his father, "Dad, she said, 'Hell yes I would!'". The father then says, "Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she'd have sex with her principal for $500,000." The boy asks his sister, "Would you have sex with your principal for $500,000?". The sister replies, "Hell yes I would!". He returns to his father, "Dad, she said, 'Hell yes I would!'". The father answers, "Okay son, here's the deal. Hypothetically, we're millionaires, but in reality, we're just living with a couple of whores."