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Sex Jokes - Private Parts
Big Willy
One day this guy goes in to the doctor's office to get his willy enlarged. The guy's sitting there on the table and the doctor comes in with a tray of willys. The guy says, ''You got any bigger ones?'' So the doctor comes in with another tray. But the guy still wants bigger, ''You got any bigger ones?'' So the doctor comes in with yet another tray. The guy finally says, ''I'll take one of those. But do you have any in white?''
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New Scope
A retired Army sniper decides to buy a new scope for his hunting rifle. He goes to a gun store and asks the clerk to show him a scope. The clerk takes out a new Trijicon AccuPoint scope mounted on a Savage BA Stealth 308 rifle and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill." The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing. "What's so funny?" asks the clerk. "I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house," the man replies. The clerk grabs the rifle from the man and looks through the scope at his house. Then he hands two .308 cartridges to the former Army sniper and says, "I'll give you this scope and $10,000 cash if you load those two cartridges, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off." The man takes another look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!"
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Bedside Manner
A man is lying in bed in a hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears to sponge his face and hands.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your face and hands." He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, Are my testicles black?" Again the nurse replies, "I can't tell. I'm only here to wash your face and hands." The ward nurse passes by and sees the man getting a little distraught so she marches over to inquire what is wrong. "Nurse," he mumbles, "Are my testicles black?" Being a nurse she is undaunted. She whips back the bedclothes, pulls down his pajama trousers, moves his penis out of the way, has a good look, pulls up the pajamas, replaces the bedclothes and announces, "Nothing is wrong with them." At this the man pulls off his oxygen mask and asks again, "Are my test results back?"
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