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Sex Jokes - Private Parts
The Barracks Door Was Left Open
Mr. Jones had hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. While taking dictation one morning, she noticed that his fly was open. Upon leaving the room she said, "Mr. Jones, your barracks door is open." He was puzzled by her remark, but later that day he noticed that his zipper was open. So, he decided to have a little fun with his secretary and called her back into his office. "By the way Miss Smith," he said, "When you noticed my barracks door open this morning, did you also notice a soldier standing at attention ?" "Why no sir," she replied, "All I saw was a little disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags."
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Desert Ride
A nun and a priest are riding a camel through the desert. After a few days the camel falls over dead. After looking over the situation the priest figures neither one of them will survive the rest of the journey.
The priest asks the nun "I have never seen a woman's breasts, and at this point it probably wouldn't matter much, so could I see yours?" The nun agrees and shows him her breasts. "May I touch them?" asks the priest. The nun allows him to. The priest comments sincerely how wonderful they are.
The nun then asks "Father, I have never seen a man's penis before, could you show me yours?" The priest drops his drawers. "May I touch it?" After she fondles his penis for a minute he sports a huge erection. The priest says, "you know if I place my penis in the proper place it can give life!"
"Is that right" the nun replies? "Yes," says the priest. "Then why don't you stick it up that camels ass and lets get the hell out of here!"
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Lisping Midget
A midget with a heavy lisp goes to a horse farm to purchase a horse. The owner of the farm takes him through to look at all of his horses. The owner is really getting pissed off. Finally, the last horse and the midget decided that he really wanted this horse. So he ask the owner if he could lift him up so he could look at the horses eyes. The owner did as the midget asked, and the midget said "Oh my, thse got very pretty eyez". Then the midget asked if he could lift him up so he could see her teeth, Then the midget said "Oh wow, thse got wonderful teeth." Then the midget asked if he could see her twat. The owner, being very pissed, picked him up, and rammed him in and out of the horse's twat. The midget looked up at the owner and said. "Oh my, yes she does have a very fine twat, but I guess I thoud have asked to see her gallop."
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