Grandma

Girls find it creepy that I have sex in the same bed my grandma died in.
I mean, I'll move her once I've saved enough for a funeral.

Playing Tabla

Once a couple were on vacation. The husband was lying on the beach facing downwards on his stomach & the wife was patting him on his butt. He asked her what she was doing, she said "I`m playing the Tabla" He turned around & told her "Alright now you can start playing the flute."

And Then Some

Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?
Wife: I clean the toilet.
Husband: How does that help?
Wife: I use your Toothbrush.