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The best jokes and joke writers!

Computer Upgrade

I painted my computer black thinking it would run faster,

but it just stopped working.

Jumping On The Bed

Q: How do you stop a black kid from jumping on the bed?

A: Put velcro on the ceiling.

Q: How do you get him down?

A: Blind fold two Mexican kids and tell them he's a pinata.

From Us

The teacher walks in and finds an apple on her desk with the letters "ILU" written on it. The teacher asks who left it. A little white girl raises her hand. "Well sweetie, what does ILU mean?" The little girl replies, "I love you."

The teacher says, "Isn't that sweet," and continues with class. The next day the teacher finds a banana on her desk with the letters "YAS" written on it. The teacher asks who left and what does it mean. A little white boy raises his hand and says, "It means, You are special." "Thank you sweetheart", the teacher says.

The following day, the teacher walks in to find a watermelon with the letters "FUCK" written on it. The enraged teacher asks who left it and if they know what that means. A little black girl raises her hand and cheerfully says, "Yes maam, I left it. It means, from us colored kids!".

Weenie Test

Three 3rd Graders: an Irish kid, an Italian kid and a Black kid, are on the playground at recess. The Irish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest weenie," he says. "Okay." They all agree. 

The Irish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out.  "That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out, and proudly shows that his is at least an inch longer. Not to be outdone, the Black kid whips his out. It is by far, not only the biggest, but the fattest.

That night, eating dinner at home, the Black kid's mother asks him what he did at school today. "Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test, and read out loud from a new book, and then during recess, my friends and I played a new game called 'Let's see who has the largest weenie." "What kind of game is that, honey?" asks the mother. "Well, me, Anthony and Patrick each pulled out our weenies, and I had the biggest! The other kids say it's because I'm Black. Is that true?

"No, Leroy. It's because you're eighteen."

Old Names

Q: What was Morgan Freeman called before the civil war?

A: Morgan.