Misunderstood

My coworker was eating an ice cream cone on her lunch break when she caught me staring at her. "Hey what's up?" she said. "Oh nothing, it's just that I want to ask for something but I'm afraid you'll misunderstand me," I replied. "Haha don't worry, I won't," she said reassuringly.
"I wanna lick it," I said. She quickly extends the ice cream cone to me, to which I said, "I knew you'd misunderstand."

Playboy's New Magazine

After Hugh Hefner passed, Playboy management decided to introduce a new magazine for men who are married. Every month the centerfold is the exact same woman.

Marriage Counselor

Magnussen goes to a marriage counselor and says, "My wife isn't as much fun as she used to be."
The marriage counselor says, "Do you still enjoy a roll in the hay?"
Magnussen says, "As much as the next fellow."
The counselor says, "Maybe between you and the next fellow, she's exhausted."