How Did He Look?
A woman went to her shrink because she was having severe problems with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked her many questions, but did not seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems. Finally he asked, "Do you ever watch your husband's face while you are having sex?" "Well, yes, I actually did once." "And how did your husband look?" "Angry, very angry." At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, "Well that's very interesting, we must look into this further. Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your husband's face once during sex, that seems somewhat unusual. How did it occur that you saw his face that time?" "He was looking through the window at us!"
We Don't Argue
Jim and I have been married for two years now and we have not yet had our first husband-wife argument. If we have a difference of any kind, and I am right, Jim nods and accepts my opinion. But what if he's right? That has not happened yet.
New Relationship Book
"My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It's titled: 'Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong.'" - Unknown
A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives. "Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman bragged, "And this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me."
"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "And this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man."
When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"
"Once," he replied.
"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you this morning?"
A husband takes his wife to a disco and they see a guy on the dance floor living it large, break dancing, moon walking, doing back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says, "See that guy? Twenty-five years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."
The husband looks over and says, "Yeah? Looks like he's still celebrating!"