"Hi Mom, it's me." "Hi Sally, are you okay? I thought you were with your father at the hardware store, looking for a drill." "Yeah, I was, but I got arrested and they've let me make one phone call, and that's why I'm calling you." "Oh my God, what happened?"
"Oh, I punched this African-American woman in the face." "What on earth . . . Why did you do that?"
"Well, it really wasn't my fault. Dad told me to find a Black and Decker. Mom, I knocked the shit out of her!"
Blonde Needs Braces
A dentist tells a blonde that she needs braces. The blonde says, "Why? I can walk just fine." When the dentist explains that braces are for her teeth, she replies, "But my teeth don't walk."
There are three girls in the Fifth Grade. There is a blonde a brunette and a redhead. Which one is the probably the smartest? If you guessed the blonde you were correct.... she's 19 years old!
Q: Why did the blonde crash her plane when landing?
A: Because the runway was only 25ft long, but a mile wide.
Not A Pharmacist
Q: Why won't they hire a blonde pharmacist?
A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.