Using the Outhouse
Because his son wasn't the brightest kid in the world, old Hillbilly Joe took him to the outhouse one day to teach him how to urinate properly. "Now you lissen good, Dan'l, 'cuz here's whatcha gotta do. One: Take out your penie-pipe. Two: Pull back the foreskin. Three: Pee. Four: Push back your foreskin. Five: Put your equipment back."
The boy said he understood, but the next day while he was working at his still, Joe's wife came running over. "Oh, Joe, Joe, come quick! Dan'l went ta piss an' won't come out of the outhouse!"
"Hell, whut's he doin' in there?" Joe said.
"I dunno. He jess keeps sayin' 'Two-four, two-four, two-four......'"
Q: What do tornados and a redneck divorce have in common?
A: Somebody's gonna lose a trailer!
Pickup Line - Infected
You might be a redneck if your favorite pickup line is "Does this look infected to you?"
You might be a Redneck
If the primary color of your car is "Bond-O."
Might be a Redneck
You might be a redneck if. . .
- You think harass is two words.
- You consider fast food hitting a deer at 65 MPH.
- Every day someone comes to your house mistakengly thinking you're having a yard sale.
- Fifth grade was the best six years of your life.
- You have more dogs than the local shelter.
- You consistently receive credit card offers with a limit of $1.25.
- Your postman puts rubber gloves on when the red flag is up on your mailbox.