You Might Be A Redneck If - 16

You might be a redneck if...

• You are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.
• You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
• You can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
• You have to go down to the creek to take a bath.
• You participate in the "who can spit tobacco the farthest contest".
• You roll you hair with soup cans and wash it once a year.
• You've never paid for a haircut.
• You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear.
• There is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
• You think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just "misunderstood".

Signs You Might Be a Redneck II

You might be a redneck if...

• You've ever made change in the offering plate.
• The fifth grade is referred to as "your senior year."
• You consider a good tan to be the back of of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve.
• You own at least 20 baseball hats.
• You think a 'cursor' is someone who swears a lot.
• You know of at least six different ways to bend the bill of a baseball hat.
• You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
• When you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
• Your screen door has no screen.
• Your biggest ambition in live is to "git that big ole coon. The one that hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn..." 

Redneck Tornado

Q: What do tornados and a redneck divorce have in common?
A: Somebody's gonna lose a trailer!