Holiday Jokes - St. Patrick's Day Jokes

HUGE Collection of Irish St. Patrick's Day Jokes! May the Luck of the Irish be with you! Put on some green, grab a beer and ROFL with our funny St. Patty's Day jokes.

Little Leprechaun

Little Patrick asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes.
When he went to wipe his bum there was no toilet paper so he used his hands.
When he got back to class his teacher asked, "What do you have in your hand?"
Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get scared away."
He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him, "What do you have in your hand?"
So little Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."
He was sent home and his mom asked him "What do you have in your hand?"
So little Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."
He was sent to his room and his dad came in and asked, "What do you have in your hand?"
So again little Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."
Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, "Open your hands!"
And little Patrick opened his hands and said, "Look Dad you scared the shit out of him!"

Categories: Holiday Jokes (St. Patrick's Day Jokes) , Jokes about Kids (School Kids Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes)
Submitted BY: Stephanie Bales

Irish Wish

An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it, and out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes."
The Irishman thinks awhile, finally he says, "I want a beer that never is empty." With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes. The Irishman says, "I want two more of these."

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Funny Thoughts , Alcohol Jokes (Beer Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Walks Into a Bar) , Genie Jokes , Holiday Jokes (St. Patrick's Day Jokes)
Anonymous

Irish Tradition

I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first pint.
Off we went to our local pub which is only two blocks from the house. I got him a Guinness. He didn't like it, so I drank it. Then I got him a Stroh’s, he didn't like that either, so I drank it. It was the same with the Molson's and the Labatt's.
I thought maybe he'd like whiskey better than beer so we tried a Jameson's, nope! By the time I realized he just didn't like to drink I was so fookin' shit-faced I could hardly push the stroller back home!

Categories: Holiday Jokes (St. Patrick's Day Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Son Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Father Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes)
Anonymous