Jokes about Kids

There were once four kids, Poop, Shut Up, Manners, and Trouble. Poop was riding his bike and fell. Manners went to help him up. Trouble got lost. Shut Up goes to the Police Station to report it.

Officer: What's your name?

Shut Up: Shut Up.

Officer: What's your name?

Shut Up: Shut Up.

Officer: For the last time, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?!

Shut Up: Shut Up!

Officer: Are you looking for Trouble?

Shut Up: Yeah, we lost him about 2 miles back.

Officer: Where's your Manners?

Shut Up: Back there pickin' up Poop.

Sales person: Hello, may I speak to the man of the house please?

Youngster: (whispering) No, he's busy.

Sales person: Well then, can I please speak to your mother?

Youngster: (in a whisper) She's busy too.

Sales person: I see, how about your brother or sister?  Can I speak to him?

Youngster: (whispering) No. They're both busy too.

Sales person: (losing patience) Is there anybody else there I could talk to???

Youngster: (in a whisper) Yeah, the police are here... but they are busy too....

Sales person: ( by now quite exasperated) What are all these people doing that keeps them so busy?!!!

Youngster: (still whispering) Looking for me.

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, Mommy?" "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair. "Don't be angry," the Mother says, "Your little sister doesn't realize that pulling hair hurts." A short while later, there's more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate. This time the sister is bawling and her brother says... "Now she knows."

A traveling salesman rings this doorbell. 10 year old little Johnny answers, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "little boy is your mother home?" Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "what do you think?"