Q: What do you get if you cross LSD with birth control?
A: A trip without the kids!
Little Joey and Little Danny, both aged 5, are walking home from school. Danny says "I won't be going to school tomorrow." "Why not?" asks Joey. "I have to go to the hospital," says Danny woefully. "That's awful," says Joey. "Why do you have to go there? Are you sick?" Danny shakes his head and replies, "I have to have a circumcision." Joey stops dead in his tracks, an expression of complete horror across his face, "That's Horrible!" he cries, "Why, I had that done when I was born, and I couldn't walk for MONTHS!!"
Q: Why did the boy blush when he opened the refrigerator?
A: He saw the salad dressing !
Q: What did the baby chick say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?'
A: Dad, dad, look what marma-laid'!
Q: Why did the student eat her homework?
A: Because the teacher said it would be a 'piece of cake'.