One day there was a boy at school. He needed to go to the toilet. The teacher said "Say your ABCs first" The boy started saying "A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z" The teacher asked at the end "Where is your P?" The boy answered "Running down my pants!!"
Q: Why did the student eat her homework?
A: Because the teacher said it would be a 'piece of cake'.
Q: Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
A: Yes, baby lips.
My buddy Brian had a kid a few years ago, and he comes to me this summer and he goes, 'Man, my son just flunked the third grade. I don't know how to tell my kid he's going to be held back a year.' I was like, 'I guess you better tell him slowly so the little dumb ass will get it.'
Student: Can I use the bathroom?
Teacher: Okay but first say your ABC's.
Students: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZ
Teacher: Where's the P?
Student: Its running down my leg!