Jokes about Kids

Q: Why don't Mexicans and blacks have children together?

A: They're afraid the kids will grow up too lazy to steal.

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

Boy: Will you punish me for something I didn't do?

Teacher: Of course not!

Boy: Good, cause I didn't do my homework!

The child was a typical four-year-old girl - cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny.  When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc. "Now do you understand?", he asked. "I think so," she said, "is that when mommy came to work for us?".

A high-school student came home from school seeming rather depressed. "What's the matter, son," asked his mother. "Aw, gee," said the boy, "It's my marks. They're all wet." "What do you mean `all wet?" "I mean," he replied, "below C-level."