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The best jokes and joke writers!

Hearing Test

A little boy is doing his homework. He says to himself, “Two plus five, the son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, the son of a bitch is nine.” His mother hears this and gasps, “What are you saying?” The little boy answers, “I’m doing my homework. This is how my teacher taught me to do it.” Infuriated, the mother confronts the teacher the next day. “What are you teaching my son in arithmetic? He’s been saying two plus two, the son of a bitch is four?” The teacher replies, “Oh dear. What I taught them was, two plus two ‘the sum of which’ is four!”

Show And Tell...

The teacher asked the students to bring one electrical appliance for "Show & Tell," and the next day every kid had something. The teacher asks Wendy: What did you bring? "I brought a Walkman." "And what is it for?" "You can listen to music with it!" "That's nice Wendy. What did you bring Kenny?" "I brought a 'lectrical can opener, it opens cans!" "Well done, Kenny. Umm, Johnny, I see you didn't bring anything!" "Yes, I did. It's in the hall." So the entire class goes into the hallway. "Umm, Johnny, what is that?" "It's a heart/lung machine hospitals use to keep your heart going." "Whoa. What did your father say about you bringing this?" "He said, 'AAAARRRGGGH!!!'"

Homework

Q: Why did the student eat her homework?

A: Because the teacher said it would be a 'piece of cake'.

Ladder School -Riddles

Q: Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

A: It was a high school.

ABC's

Student: Can I use the bathroom?

Teacher: Okay but first say your ABC's.

Students: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZ

Teacher: Where's the P?

Student: Its running down my leg!