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The best jokes and joke writers!

Little Leprechaun

Little Patrick asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes.

When he went to wipe his bum there was no toilet paper so he used his hands.

When he got back to class his teacher asked, "What do you have in your hand?"

Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get scared away."

He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him, "What do you have in your hand?"

So little Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."

He was sent home and his mom asked him "What do you have in your hand?"

So little Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."

He was sent to his room and his dad came in and asked, "What do you have in your hand?"

So again little Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."

Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, "Open your hands!"

And little Patrick opened his hands and said, "Look Dad you scared the shit out of him!"

Rejected Childrens Book Titles

  1. Juggling Knives is Easy
  2. Where to Find the toys in the Oven
  3. Where Mommy & Daddy Hide Neat Things
  4. Kick, Scream, and Cry to Get What You Want
  5. "Whatcha' Doin'" the Wonderful Phrase
  6. 101 Games to Play in the Road
  7. The Indoor Pool is a Big Potty and the Diving board is the Flusher
  8. Homemade Fireworks using a Bathtub, a Blow-dryer and a Fork
  9. POP, goes the Hamster and other fun Microwave Games
  10. Arthur Gets Hunted
  11. Clifford and the Big and Yellow Semi
  12. Monsters Killed Grandpa
  13. The hit sequel to "Elvis is your real dad" "Mrs. Clause is your real Mom"
  14. Chicken Poop for the Kid Soul
  15. All Guns Squirt Water
  16. When The Garbage Truck Came to Sesame Street
  17. How Fun it is to Tie a Squirrel to a Kite
  18. You Can Get Sucked Down the Drain
  19. How to Make Sushi with Ordinary Goldfish
  20. 101 recipies to make with Dog
  21. If its Storming out the Best Place to keep shelter is under a tree
  22. The New Boy is Bad
  23. Your Nightmares are real
  24. The Time When Elmer REALLY got Bugs
  25. Scooby Doo Gets Rabbis
  26. The Lion, the Steak, and the Blender
  27. The Little Kitten that was too Curious.....
  28. The Boy who was so Stupid that his Dad put him up for Adoption
  29. Mickey Mouse and the Mouse Trap
  30. Chuck E. Cheese and Cheddar get a Flamethrower
  31. Grampa Gets A Casket
  32. Dad's New Wife Robert
  33. The Magical World Inside The Abandoned Refrigerator

Homework

Q: Why did the student eat her homework?

A: Because the teacher said it would be a 'piece of cake'.

Ladder School -Riddles

Q: Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

A: It was a high school.

Fair Punishment

Boy: Will you punish me for something I didn't do?

Teacher: Of course not!

Boy: Good, cause I didn't do my homework!