Genie Jokes

A bear is chasing a rabbit through a forest. They find a bottle and decide to rub it. A genie pops out. He says "I will grant each of you three wishes." The bear says "I wish that all of the bears in the forest were females." **POOF** It is done.The rabbit says "I wish for a motorcycle." **POOF** It is done. The bear says "I wish all the bears in this country were females." **POOF** It is done.The rabbit says "I wish for a lifetime supply of carrots back at my house." **POOF** It is done. The bear thought to himself "Why is the rabbit wasting his wishes on stupid small things?" Finally, the bear says "For my third wish, I wish that all the bears in the world were female." **POOF** It is done. The rabbit says "For MY last wish, I wish for the bear to be gay" and he rode off on his motorcycle.

Hennessy wasn't a very good looking fellow to start with. Now his business had failed and his wife and family had left him. Depressed and distracted, he was standing near the edge of the bridge, contemplating suicide. Suddenly, he sensed that someone was behind him.  Turning around he saw an ugly little old leprechaun. "Don't jump," she said, "I'll grant you three wishes.".  "Right," he said

"My first wish is to have $100,000."  She said, "When you check your account, you will find that you are in credit to that amount."  He then said, "My second wish is to have my wife and children back." She replied, "They will be there when you get home." He then said, "My third wish is to be tall and handsome." She again replied, "When you look in the mirror, you will find that your wish has been granted."

But then the ugly little leprechaun added, "I want you to do something in return for me. I want you to kiss me."  He looked at her and shuddered at the thought. But under the circumstances he thought he should do as she wanted. He took her in his arms and kissed her again and again. She said, "What age are you?".  He replied, "I'm forty." She said, "Don't you think that you're a bit too old to be believing in leprechauns?"

A man finds a lamp and decides to rub the dust off. Then, you guessed it, a Genie appears. The Genie tells the man he will grant him three wishes, but everything the man gets, his mother-in-law gets twice. The man's first wish is for 10 million dollars. The Genie reminds the man that his mother-in-law will get 20 million dollars. The man says, "That's ok." The man's next wish is for a house by the sea. Once again, the Genie reminds the man that his mother-in-law will get two houses by the sea; once again, the man says, "That's okay." The man's last wish is to be beaten half to death!

A young man fell in a pit one day, and found a magic lamp with a genie inside of it. Of course, the genie popped out and said, "I will grant you three wishes."  The man's first wish was to get out of the pit. **POOF** He was instantly transported out. He then wished for all the gold in the world. **POOF** The genie gave him all the gold nuggets in the world, all the gold bars, all the gold pebbles, everything. The man could not think of anything for his third wish, so he went out for a ride in his Ferrari. He turned on the radio, and after a few minutes and a catchy song came on. He started to sing along, "Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner..." and **POOF**

There is 2 fags walking down the beach. They are holding hands and kicking the sand with their feet. One happens to kick a lamp that is lying buried in the sand. He picks it up and starts to clean it off. All of a sudden a Genie comes out of the lamp. "Man, I don't believe it. I have stuck in that bottle for two thousand years and the first person to come along and find me is a fag. I am suppose to give you 3 wishes but I just can't do it. I won't even give you 2. I will give you one wish and that is it. What will it be?" The 2 men are excited about getting their wish but couldn't come up with what they wanted to wish for on such short notice. One man says, "Could you give us just a little time to think about it? I mean one wish we need a little time." The Genie looks down and says, "Alright you can take as long as you want but I am not going to stay here until you come up with it. I just can't stand the sight of you two. Whenever you make up your mind just wish for it and it will done." At that moment the Genie grabs his bottle and flies off into the sky. Well the two men decide that they will go back to the motel room and decide on what they will wish for. Once they got back, their emotions took over and they started getting intimate. Right as they were getting into it, the door of their room gets busted down and 6 men in white sheets come in. They grab the two and throw a rope around their necks. The men look at each other and one says to the other; " You know this might be a good time use our wish." The second man says, "I already made it." The first man responds "What the hell did you wish for?" The second man says shyly, "Well, I wished that we were hung like two niggers."