Letter On Christmas Eve

Q: What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A: Black mail!

Pilgrim Pants

Q: Why do Pilgrims have trouble keeping their pants up?
A: Because they wear their belts on their hats!

A Cop on Christmas Morning

On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light. Next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
The kid tells him yes. The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike."
The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."
The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."