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The best jokes and joke writers!

Lisping Midget

A midget with a heavy lisp goes to a horse farm to purchase a horse. The owner of the farm takes him through to look at all of his horses. The owner is really getting pissed off. Finally, the last horse and the midget decided that he really wanted this horse. So he ask the owner if he could lift him up so he could look at the horses eyes. The owner did as the midget asked, and the midget said  "Oh my, thse got very pretty eyez". Then the midget asked if he could lift him up so he could see her teeth, Then the midget said "Oh wow, thse got wonderful teeth." Then the midget asked if he could see her twat. The owner, being very pissed, picked him up, and rammed him in and out of the horse's twat. The midget looked up at the owner and said. "Oh my, yes she does have a very fine twat, but I guess I thoud have asked to see her gallop."

Midget Psychic

Q: What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison?

A: A small medium at large.

Leprechaun Lender

Q: Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?

A: Because they're always a little short.

Rear Ended

I got distracted today while driving and rear-ended the car in front of me. The car door opened and out hopped the driver. He stormed up to me, all 3' 9" of him, and angrily blurted out "I AM NOT HAPPY!"

I stared at him and said, "Which one are you then?"

Midgets Playing Soccer

Q: Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer?

A: Because the grass tickles their balls!