Q: Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they're always a little short.
Q: Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer?
A: Because the grass tickles their balls!
Q: What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison?
A: A small medium at large.
A midget with a heavy lisp goes to a horse farm to purchase a horse. The owner of the farm takes him through to look at all of his horses. The owner is really getting pissed off. Finally, the last horse and the midget decided that he really wanted this horse. So he ask the owner if he could lift him up so he could look at the horses eyes. The owner did as the midget asked, and the midget said "Oh my, thse got very pretty eyez". Then the midget asked if he could lift him up so he could see her teeth, Then the midget said "Oh wow, thse got wonderful teeth." Then the midget asked if he could see her twat. The owner, being very pissed, picked him up, and rammed him in and out of the horse's twat. The midget looked up at the owner and said. "Oh my, yes she does have a very fine twat, but I guess I thoud have asked to see her gallop."
Trouble Reaching the 10th Floor
Q: A man lives and works in the same building. Every day he takes the elevator from the 10th floor down to the 1st floor where he works. At the end of the day he rides from the 1st floor up to the 7th floor and takes the stairs the rest of the way. Why?
A: He is a dwarf and can't reach the 10th floor button.