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The best jokes and joke writers!

Phonebook

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"

Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."

Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Pick up Goes South

A guy comes up to a girl and tells her some pick-up line. She grabs his crotch, looks down at it, looks back at him, and says, "Sorry, I don't see any potential here" and nonchalantly walks off.

Friday Night Pick-up Lines - Wise Woman

Man: "You know, I'd really love to travel to exotic places with you."

Woman: (tries to ignore him)

Man: "You know what? I also love sex. What do you say to that?"

Woman: "Hmmm...you really love sex and travel?"

Man: (nods his head smiling)

Woman: "Then go take a fuckin' hike!!!"

Receptionist

Man: "Haven't we met before?"

Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the STD Clinic."

Touché

A guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" She yells, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations." To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200!?!"