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The best jokes and joke writers!

Penalize for Hotness

I'm going to have to penalize you fifteen yards for unnecessary hotness. High five!

Pirate Pick Up Line

How 'bout jollying my roger? Yar!

California Pick-up Line

Q: Whats the best new pick-up line in California?

A: I have electricity.

Irish Pick-up Line

You must be from Ireland ... because my baloney pony is Dublin every time I think about you!

Touché

A guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" She yells, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations." To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200!?!"